StrikerBe yourself and be true to who you are. Don't let neurotypical conditioning define your identity.
RodeoI’m offended that you think I don’t question authority.
I take the reason you say this is cause your not on the spectrum?
Most things neurodivergent are actually stuff thats normal and common. Like needing some alone time, but its the degree of intensity, persevering need for those things that make it fit outside the norm.
A fun fact, we have a lot of ties to the roots of the lgbt community. Something about not letting norms and tradition decide how you should think and act. To be different often isn’t a choice and the right to exist differently is a matter of survival.
Kinda burying the lede here. They are all different forms of “questioning their authority”
1984I dont agree it’s about authority at all. This entire list is about showing disrespect for someone and expecting them to be OK with it.
To allistic people, everything on this list is insulting behavior that will offend them (except not wanting to eat certain foods).
This behavior will work fine with autistic people though. But you can’t expect it to work with allistic people.
Different brains equals different expectations of what is acceptable social behavior. That’s it.
not everyone is offended by these behaviors. what’s more insulting is lumping all autistic people together, and lumping all non-autistic people together assuming that they all feel the same way. it’s THAT sort of behavior that makes people turn on the other.
I know what you mean but it’s hard to talk about these things without generalizing, since we can’t ask everyone on the planet how they feel.
It’s super easy actually! You just qualify your statements. For example:
-
I don’t like how some people…
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I’ve noticed that a lot of people…
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There’s quite a few people that…
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The majority of people seem to…
This language avoid assumptions about how everyone else feels and leaves the reader an out to say to themselves, “I’m not in that group and they acknowledge that I am an exception.” It avoids the trap of over generalization and doesn’t put the reader on the defensive. Language like “all people” and “allistic people” (meaning all non-autistic people) only work to alienate. Ironically it demonstrates the same behavior they appear to be complaining about…
Ok sure, but another way would be to realize that when me or someone else says “autistic people”, we mean “my experience with autistic people”.
Since obviously I haven’t met all autistic people in the world, and obviously I don’t speak for all. I have an opinion based in my experience. In fact, everything I write is based on my personal experience.
When you write something to me here on Lemmy, I read it as “your opinion about x” without you have to tell me that in every single post. It’s a bit smarter to think about posts that way I believe.
Maybe don’t generalize a group of people without careful thought and appropriate caveats then? Seems pretty easy to me. You even admit that you are writing from personal experience, and don’t have perfect information, so why not include precise language to reflect that? Seems pretty simple and way more inclusive.
Like I said previously, using precise language simply avoids putting readers that are a part of whatever group on the automatic defensive. Why not just take the extra couple of a seconds to avoid that miscommunication? If you don’t care to do that, then that’s fine, but over generalization is going to automatically alienate some readers that you perhaps didn’t mean to offend.
Yeah I don’t want to offend anyone but at the same time, I don’t want to go through the steps you mentioned in every single post where I express an opinion.
So I think I will have to be OK with some people being offended by me not specifically explaining that I don’t speak for everyone.
Maybe we should take a step back. Your original statement was that it’s hard to have these conversations without generalization. I tried to explain simple ways to avoid the trap of over generalization. Your response appears to be, “I don’t care to put forth the tiny amount of effort to avoid miscommunication.”
So is it actually quite easy and you don’t care? Why say it was hard to begin with then? I’m just kind of confused at this point.
Yeah I don’t think the effort you described is worth it. But thanks for your ideas how to solve this problem. I just don’t want to apply them to every single post.
PepsiIt’s not even about inclusivity man, it’s just good writing and communication skills to say what you mean.
You don’t have to make the effort to include people who might be offended, but you should make the effort to be a stronger communicator if you value discourse and want to discuss your thoughts and ideas in a public forum.
Otherwise you’re just the online equivalent of a guy shouting his opinions to nobody in particular on a street corner.
starbreakerThis sounds like somebody using assumptions because they can't cope with ignorance or uncertainty.
That is literally everyone. Everyone’s brain runs on assumptions. Every model is wrong, but some are useful.
JoYopeople get right indignant when encountering someone else’s food choices.
i hear the difference between an allergy and an intolerance as if that changes the amount of suffering endured.
To allistic people, everything on this list is insulting behavior that will offend them (except not wanting to eat certain foods).
Yeah, people who are used to playing and winning dominance games tend to get upset when other people aren't willing to play and have the temerity to show it. Tough shit. If I want somebody to dominate me, that's my wife's exclusive prerogative.
I don't expect you to be OK with me refusing to knuckle under when you play dominance games with me. But your feelings are of no greater importance to me than mine are to you. You are my equal at best. Do not try my patience. It is not my greatest virtue.
I just told you it’s not about dominance or authority, but sure, you probably think it is, since your response is immature and ridiculous.
I just told you it’s not about dominance or authority, but sure, you probably think it is, since your response is immature and ridiculous.
Yes, I read your opinion. I don't agree with it, and you've done nothing to persuade me that I should let your opinion overrule my judgment. Dismissing my response is "immature and ridiculous" doesn't make your case more compelling.
He’s trying to play one of those dominance or authority games.
bruhduhEh, these kind of people are always throwing tantrum no matter agreed or refused playing their dominance games, i personally try to avoid such people, filter out negativity and only keep positivity, also i relate strongly to your comment
I’m really struggled with figuring out how anything on that list has to do with “dominance”.
Yeah well when “respect” means “micro managing myself to glorify someone else because they demand it”, then yeah. I’m disrespectful as fuck. Anyone who demands I show my belly so they can feel like they’re in charge can kindly go fuck themselves. They’re not in charge. Nobody gets that special pampering from me.
How alone am I in disliking the word "allistic"? To me it feels like an outgrowth of a persecution fetish, literally defining an outgroup. Especially since it has zero mainstream adoption, where "non-autistic" is immediately clear to anyone.
That discomfort, I believe, is the point. Flipping the labeling game on its head is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable with the label.
And labeling it a persecution fetish is projecting. And saying that the mainstream doesn’t accept it so we shouldn’t either is provocative in a post that says “don’t let mainstream lead you by the nose”.
I don't always get there, but striving for clear language is being true to myself.
LillyPipsupposed to make you feel uncomfortable with the label. That can be used later for empathy.
That sounds manipulative and dishonest. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding. Might you explain how that works, from either an individual or societal perspective?
I agree we desperately need more awareness and empathy, but I don’t see how adding more synonyms that feel exclusionary helps.
Yeah, this is the same approach that labelling majority as CIS-gender is. Sure, smart and empathetic people realize and recognize what it’s trying to highlight, but others will find it offensive and irritating before, if at all, coming to a conclusion.
The problem with this psychological approach is that it’s projecting to bring down others / the out group, instead of attempting to elevate the disadvantaged straight. It creates a faux us vs them tribalism where there was none before.
Does ‘straight’ (or heterosexual) fall in the same category?
It may have before. I wouldn’t know, because when those terms came to be used were before my time.
credit crazyNot to mention it’s pretty similar to autistic. Infact I first read it as autistic and got pretty confused reading the post.
I feel like it can be over used, but generally I like it, it fills a lexical niche for me. I could use non autistic, but that feels clunky. Sometimes it’s useful to talk about non autistic people’s experiences in relation to autistic people, and sometimes I want to talk about autistic experiences in relation to allistic experiences, so I may prefer a term like allistic.
A thing that feels similar to me is the word allosexual, which means not asexual. I guess I would identify as being on the ace spectrum, but not ace (I’m demisexual), so allosexual is often a useful word
Neurotypical is the word most people use instead of non-autistic.
Which is also dumb, assuming there is a “typical” brain.
Although true, neurotypical more means close to average. Don’t think of typical as a single thing, but more an average of collective experiences.
Confirmed, neurotypical people are totally mental too.
Normal is fine. I’ll keep saying normal. I’m not normal, and I’m well aware of that.
🐑🇸 🇭 🇪 🇪 🇵 🇱 🇪🐑“Neurotypical” is the more appropriate word anyway
Yeah I agree with that. I will, however, point out that it means basically the same thing as the word normal. Context does matter as much as being understood as meaning non-autistic.
The whole of human experience is a spectrum, anyhow. Neurotypical just means this small peak of the bell curve society deems ‘normal’, but even then, lots of people in that group wouldn’t be considered ‘normal’ if they were honest with themselves.
Those terms do help people outside that definition, though, because they help identify and contextualise the friction they feel in society, and defining is a crucial first step towards understanding, acceptance, and learning how to overcome obstacles.
These words aren’t really for the benefit of neurotypical people, so they can seem unnecessary. They’re not, though.
(I’d never heard the word in the OP, and I agree it’s superfluous. We already have several words for it.)
not really. Allistic is the opposite to autistic while NT is the opposite to ND. As Neurodiversity covers (much) more than just autism, allistic is more precise when the topic is specifically autism.
How alone am I in disliking the word "allistic"?
I don't care for it, either. I don't really care for "autistic", either. Mainly because when I was growing up, if you were autistic enough to get diagnosed you were autistic enough to get institutionalized. My kind of autism used to be called "Asperger's syndrome" until the DSM-V dropped, and good riddance because Hans Asperger was a fucking Nazi-symp waste of ammo. If I really need a label, "weird" or even "eccentric" will do.
Which foot is the shoe on again?
I wear shoes on both of my feet.
bobor hrongarHow is “non-autistic” not an outgroup but “allistic” is?
allistic
the what now
Non autistic people.
But where does it come from. Regardless, sounds funny so I’m all for it.
Some dumbass
Auto/allo come from the ancient Greek words for self/other. It’s one of those pairs like cis/trans, hypo/hyper, in/ex, etc.
I wonder if it’s alright to call myself or others “hella allistic”.
tfw you have alltism
I’m thinking of all these greentexts that talk about how OP has autism and imagining their alternative scenario where they have altism.
BOMBSof course, it’s a spectrum
The term you’re looking for is “Neurotypical”
Neurotypicals tend to not know what that word means, either. It's too Latinate and polysyllabic.
Basically no one knows the term allistic.
KeriKitty (They(/It))Yet I’m supposed to keep up with “yeet” and “sneed” and whatever the fuck memers have scooped out of their cranial mush-puddles this month?
Hey, dude, scrub, cool, hanging out, psyched, what’s up, puke, and scoop were all once just slang words. Yet here we are, and they are pretty commonly used today.
Sorry but a lot slang becomes general speech, so there’s no reason to resist it.
Offended by a label now are you?
Can I get a “LANGUAGE IS FLUID” from my normies?