I was way too old when I learned that you should ask if someone wants advice or just wants to vent. “Are we fixing or bitching?” is what I ask my best friend nowadays and it’s made us less likely to butt heads when one of us just wants to talk shit to get it out.

I feel like that would be the wrong question to ask my wife while she’s venting.

I always ask “is this a rant or are you asking for a solution?” Same question but worded in a way that isn’t going to cause problems.