You know what, I dislike all the fake outrage about those of us who criticize men or say stuff like “I hate men” as a shorthand or in a weak moment.

These phrases and attitudes are born from generations of trauma inflicted upon them by the majority of men. When my girlfriend is at work, she is infantilized and talked over, reassigned from important projects, denied sick leave, denied promotions, talked down to, underpaid and constantly told it’s a “myth”. So she organizes her workplace - and every time she wants to speak or take responsibility in her union, someone else pipes up with a louder voice and overrides all of her judgements for some reason. When she finally arrives at the doctor’s, she gets misdiagnosed and told that she is probably just hormonal. When she walks around, she gets harassed by men: whether it’s classic catcalling, physical harassment, or things like “hey my friend thinks hes an alpha would you fuck him? hey where are you going? can i come with you?”. Finally, my girlfriend just wants to relax and hops on a video game; and there gets harassed the entire time through, screamed at, hurled slurs at, being told that she’s bad and should uninstall the game, that she likes cock up her ass, that she should go back to the kitchen. And even if it’s not about her gender, it’s literally all a competition among men, talking shit, telling each other to kill oneself, shit talking others’ skills, laughing at each other and hurling slurs. When she is eventually depressed about the state of the game and the game not being fun if everyone is toxic, she is told to toughen up because “we’re just taking shit at each other lol”.

Meanwhile, if she plays with women or the rare non-toxic guy, none of that is a problem, they congratulate each other, give constructive feedback and say good luck, have fun, good game.

Can you imagine how it is to go through that every single day? No matter if you’re sick or pissed or depressed? To try and relax in a fun game of Valorant after a super frustrating work day, and immediately being screamed at by a rabid male teenager who very obviously just thinks that insulting others makes him more likeable and “alpha”? Every time you want to relax?

And it’s so transparent. These guys are literally just so insecure about being vulnerable that in their own fear of their own weaknesses they try and eradicate weakness and happiness and emotion in others, because it threatens their world view that happiness and manliness can only exist when you’re perpetually “alpha”: angry, solitary, unemotional, unempathetic. These men are literally simply pathetically easy to see through, and drag everyone else down with their own sorrow.

And when they final sigh in exasperation and one time among friends half-joke about hating men (although she clearly only means typical men espousing toxic masculinity), then suddenly all the white knights come from the basement and cry about how it’s unfaaaaair, and how she is the real sexist here, and how all of this cannot be true because THEY would never be mean to a woman, and THEY surely have never seen any of that happening, and SHE must be overly sensitive.

Of course you then end up thinking “if men disappeared overnight the world would literally be so much better” if your everyday life is constantly defined by insecure, angry, aggressive, verbally and physically abusive men. Crass example, but would you blame a Polish kid in 1943 for being slightly miffed at Germans and being all “I hate Germans”? Would you tell the child that they’re the real fascist and should clarify that not all Germans are nazis? The Redditors probably would. Normal people wouldn’t.

This whole entire “boo hoo you’re so mean against men” thing can literally only come from people who sit on their ass on their couch all day, have to think about their gender exactly 0% of the time, and then are mildly annoyed by an online comment of someone claiming to be done with men.

OF COURSE men are not all evil. There’s super cool men around! Yes, men are victims of patriarchy, and all of this “vulnerability equals weak and undesirable” is a product of patriarchy; but a vast majority are despite that still willing to bully, harass, rape, assault, scream, devalue, infantilize, hate. They’re not animals incapable of critical thought, they could stop those things at any moment, but choose not to, out of some “facts over feelings” bullshit.

And it truly does not mean all men, it’s not an excuse. At all. I cherish every single cool and chill man I have in my life (and I have many, including my boyfriends), and they all know that they are not meant when people complain about “men”; the “men” in “I hate men” refers to “typical men” and “men who act like men are conditioned to act”, not every single man in existence. But policing victims’ language is not the solution here, and just makes people come across as really, really unempathetic.

Policing victim’s language in those cases just really has a lot of “but why didn’t the 12 year old Palestinian child distance themselves from Hamas before being bombed” energy.

Ranting about your issue on a post about someone else’s issue isn’t cool.

If you’d like to talk about policing victim’s language, or even your friend who is struggling, that is fine. This is a big platform and there’s space for that.

OP has a legit issue and a legit gripe. It’s a shitty thing to try to make this thread about something else.

This entire thread is literally about the effects of patriarchy on people. These are not separate issues. This is a deliberate tactic of blaming patriarchy on women once again: “well if only those women didn’t hate men then we wouldn’t be so emotionally brooooken by it, that practically forces us to be sexist”. Of course patriarchy hurts men. But these fake crocodile tears about the “male loneliness epidemic” exist only to “both sides” an issue that men created, men uphold, and men reinforce every single day.

If you made a thread that was about “transphobia hurts cis people too and the main issue in that is trans people venting about cis people” you would rightfully be called out for it too.

I dont think anyone here said the main issue is women, and if they said they’re in the minoriy(I hope) Patriarchy created many issues for both women and men, tho more for women This thread is talking about a serious and real issue, and you are diverting the topic

The “serious and real issue” is literally just men’s own behavior. They could literally just stop making everything into a violent competition.

This thread is about how often men going through hard times arent helped and told to deal with it, I dont think its their fault for wanting to be helped

No one going through hard times is helped. Everyone is told to deal with it. They do deserve help and a support system. It’s just not women’s fault for being “too mean to men” while venting about sexism. It’s toxic masculinity’s fault for making men attack other, more vulnerable men in the name of manliness (e. g. “therapy is gay, men dont cry, stop being a pussy”). It’s an internal men’s issue.

Yes, what you said here was true, the issue was mostly created by men. But most people here didnt blame it on women, you were the one to think that

The comments and upvote/downvote ratios say otherwise. The entire thread is made to concern troll. It’s like going to a BLM protest in 2020 and protesting about racism against white people in an African mini state. Technically a valid issue, but the framing makes it abundantly clear that it has a different purpose.

This thread is full of men who are tired of hearing about women and finally want to absorb the entire discourse for their own comparatively trivial “issues”.

The thread was made to help. And you came here and talked about somethimg else

And how does that “help” look like? Praising men again (very rare), making them sleep soundly knowing that the world revolves around them once more? All of the gender-specific problems men face according to the post and in society as a whole are created by men. Hint: the people saying “bro you go to therapy? lol u gay? fgt” are not women.