MartineskiInternally vs. externally
OptimsticDolphinEvery single post I see is slowly convincing me I might have ADHD, then again it could just be me or my autism.
I mean, ADHD is very commonly a co-morbid condition with other neurological conditions. It’s more uncommon to NOT also have ADHD when you have another.
or you know… normal human behavior…
CatoblepasExecutive functioning problems happen in both autism and ADHD, so it could be autism related or ADHD related.
At one point I asked my therapist, how can you tell if something is related to ADHD or autism if you’re diagnosed with both or suspect both? And she was basically like ‘there’s not really a way to tell and it comes down to subjective judgements.’
🤷♂️ I’m more of a practical person. If ADHD coping techniques or medication help you, does it matter which it technically is?
Good point, it looks like a pain going through the NHS to get a diagnosis anyway so I will just keep on going as I am now
frankly i think posts like these are more useful than super dry scary clinical descriptions
I got diagnosed with both around the same time. It’s not impossible to have both, so I’d look at some qualified doctors on YouTube and see if what they describe as ADHD is how you feel.
Keyword: qualified. ADHD is an easy thing to be convinced you have, and there’s a lot of people claiming to be professionals out there.
literally me right now. I need to get up and do something important, yet anxiety and lack of willpower has me laying down on the couch, scrolling on my phone.
Jaja im lazy, give medication pls
likecrap I’m 90% sure the original post said shitty. It’s ok, it’s the internet, you can say shitty
whenever people use elementary school swears like ‘heck’ and ‘crap’ and ‘darn’ it really weirds me out. vibes of smothering christian parents and ranch dressing
It like to save the “big swears” for when I really fucking mean it
Oh darn guys, I think he means business
Oh geez Rick
Why u gotta make me think about Justin Roiland?
You’re DAMN right I do 😳
Woah hey now, let’s not drag ranch dressing into this.
RetrogradeRight? I was like, hey now, don’t do my ranch dirty like that
Let’s just get rid of it entirely
Oddly specific.
I use them ironically, or at least I used to lol. Now it’s just part of my dialect
Some people don’t want to come off as really crass and aggressive. I don’t understand why people get so offended by polite language. It’s not a religious thing, plenty of religious people swear up a storm.
My dad was in the army, so he was no stranger to swearing. My parents weren’t strict or religious when I was growing up. I just didn’t like how harsh and, frankly, how stupid swears sounded, so I decided not to use them.
People like to say “you can swear on the internet”, but just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should do it. The people on the internet are every bit as real as people off the internet and words can cause a whole lot of hurt. Why not make the internet a more friendly and inviting place?
Does it really hurt anyone that this person edited this post to match their personality better? Why is this even a big deal?
ALostInquirerWhy not make the internet a more friendly and inviting place?
Have you not heard/read how this isn’t why some folks are doing this? I suspect part of the reason for this thread is that people don’t feel like those doing this are doing so to match their personality and genuinely being more polite, but more to work around corporate social media’s algorithms purportedly downplaying more “crass and aggressive” language.
It’s not that they’re offended by polite language or attempts to be friendly, but they’re put off and made uncomfortable by what reads as performative kindness/hospitality. Like have you seen the movie Get Out? Or read/seen the movie adaptations of The Stepford Wives? For some folks these gestures, which may be genuine, can unintentionally come across like the eerily accommodating/submissive people in those stories.
Default_DefectIts not the polite language that bothers me, its when its obvious that someone is self-censoring for no reason.
I don’t expect someone to use a swear word every time it fits. I do expect someone that tells me to frick myself to just say fuck because that’s what they mean. Its weird.
Oddly, maybe because of my super religious upbringing, crap doesn’t feel the same as heck and the like. I also don’t think I heard it used in cartoons that used substitute words. Crap always felt like the middle between shit and something like fiddlesticks or something.
gAlienLifeformThere are some social media communities where that’d get you removed, which is dumb as fuck but I can’t be mad at OP because their meme got laundered through a place with shitty mods
Mr_nutter_butterHow do you know what I’ve been doing for the past 4 hours
I have ADHD, and this just sounds like depression to me?
Look up “ADHD and executive dysfunction”.
CihtaYou are not wrong but for many the effects of ADHD can cause depression and the effects compound each other.
In my experience the right meds can push past that initial lack of flow state and allow accomplishment of tasks. Without it depression comes because you can’t understand why you aren’t just getting things done. Snowball effect…
This can also just be a symptom of adhd without depression being involved. There’s some overlap, but it isn’t exclusive to depression.
Agreed. Symptoms of both are very dynamic. I was only pointing out how they can interact in certain cases. But it’s certainly common undiagnosed ADHD can lead to depression over time. Everyone is different of course.
I also have adhd and this definitely sounds like adhd to me.
For me ADHD makes it hard to change tasks, and depression is not caring enough to try.
That…feels more like depression.
Adhd, at least in my experience, is telling yourself you’ll get up and make lunch “in a minute” and then that minute turns into 4 hours.
Tô me it would be like starting lunch and then starting to clean the dishes and then 3 hours have passed and neither lunch is ready nor the dishes are done and you have to leave 30 minutes ago
Lemmington BunnieMy issue is at work, “I’ll just do this one more thing”, and then instead of my usual 2pm lunch, it’s now suddenly 3pm which even for me is crazy late…
IonAddisSo, caveat here that I don’t have ADHD myself, but I have two friends who do.
One of my friends had a mother that was very shaming and critical when my friend with ADHD got distracted or forgot things. Like, “You’re so smart I don’t see why you can’t Do The Thing, it should be so simple!” and “Oh, she’ll forget her house keys and come crying to me to bring them to her!” (As if my friend was entitled or something–but she’s actually one of the most humble and sweet people I know, I have no idea why her mom has adopted this martyr persona where things she does on her own are somehow my friend’s fault. Her mother seems to struggle with anxiety, and projects it on everyone around her–she tries to deal with it by controlling everyone through passive aggressive remarks. Obviously since ADHD has rejection sensitivity sometimes, it hits my friend hard.)
For another person in another family, it might have been different, but for my friend, because her mom was always on the, “You’re so smart, why can’t you Do The Thing, it’s so simple!” train, the distractions and forgetfulness and stuff got rolled up with trauma because not only was her brain distracting her all the time, but when a task WAS remembered, there’s a bunch of shame and trauma getting into the mix on top of the ADHD symptoms. Like, she already had tons of trouble trying to Do The Thing, but her mom made it so there was also shame and anxiety pulling her attention away on top of the baseline ADHD.
So maybe “technically” it’s depression or anxiety or whatever–but it seems a fairly common experience for folks with neurodivergance who are surrounded by family who just “can’t understand” why they don’t “do the thing”.
I don’t have ADHD like I said, but I have C-PTSD and grew up with family that is schizophrenic, so when my C-PTSD stuff goes off due to stress, my gut instinct isn’t to Do The Thing to fix it, because in my experience my family was so chaotic that it honestly didn’t matter if I did or didn’t Do The Thing. My status of “in trouble” or “not in trouble” would be in flux according to THEIR mood, not what I actually had done, so it doesn’t register on me when I’m upset that “doing the thing” might fix the bad feelings by appeasing the other person.
So I ran into a lot of issues were my stress response makes me flee stressful things (like school homework when I was young, or cleaning, or paperwork deadlines for dr or whatever), which has a negative feedback cycle of, “Why didn’t you do this, it’s so easy!” kicking up shame, which makes me flee, which makes more shame, on and on and on in a shit cycle.
My friend and I had very different home lives, but the thing we shared here was mental differences (her ADHD, my trauma from a shit home life) getting wound up with anxiety/depression that are intimately attached to the shaming others/society does if it perceives us to be “lazy” when we’re actually panicking/afraid/guilty/hurting inside.
Hey, that was probably insightful, but as someone with ADHD, just looked like a lot of words to read. I wanted to thank you for your input bc I have empathy for your efforts, but gonna be honest, I didn’t read it all.
As a counterpoint to the other person, I did actually read it, definitely seems like you understand us!
On the flipside, I hyperfixated on it until I was done with the comment, but still wanted more. Love the insight! It’s easy to forget that everyone has different creatures in their minds, and some creatures aren’t as negotiable as others. As well as how much trauma and the environment we grow up in shapes our abilities.
This post definitely matches my adhd, and I don’t have depression. Remember that not everyone’s adhd is the same. This is a common issue many people with adhd face, even if it isn’t your experience.
ADHD and depression are super, super comorbid though.
People present differently. No diagnostic tool for ADHD or depression asks whether you get stuck on the couch for four hours trying to motivate yourself. It’s always interpretive.
Throw your fucking phone in the toilet if you spend 3 hours with it trying to “convince yourself” to do something.
I think that’s a misunderstanding of how ADHD, and in fact mental illness in general, works. Perhaps for some people removing the distraction will work, but more often in my experience another will just fit in its place. The phone is not the problem, it is a symptom.
Phones are a very powerful attention trap. I’d be curious to hear an argument of a more powerful and accessable one
Man just read the meme again. The whole point is it looks like an attention trap but in ADHD it’s just a facade.
Literally fucking anything that seems more pleasant than thing I’m procrastinating
The phone isn’t what causes this issue in people with adhd, I do it with or without a phone. You’re just misunderstanding how adhd works.
I’m aware how ADHD behaves, I have it. I’ve been medicated for years.
It is obvious to me and many others who have it that things of great dopamine satisfaction are ESPECIALLY distracting. Cellphone distraction is a known attention sink and such things are even more powerful for folks with attention/focus issues.
I guarantee any of us locked in a blank room and a sink full of dishes would be faster to complete the chore if we were without engrossing distraction.
Those with ADHD have an even higher responsibility to themselves to remove distractions and keep a “clean” lifestyle. It’s a cop out to not acknowledge massive distraction triggers or traps.
I’m not suggesting those struggling are lesser. Only that they may be not meeting their own self care needs, willfully or otherwise.
I agree on phone usage restriction apps. You can also extend the usage as a reward for achieving things which would work as an external motivation that ADHD people need. I also agree with other people that it won’t even be close to solving ADHD problems, people were just arguing with you about different thing because they thought that you have the same perception of ADHD as the top level comment.
People are incredibly fast to claim that somebody doesn’t understand how ADHD or procrastination works, just because they said something they don’t quite agree with.
A lot of people seem to wear disorders like add/ADHD like an identity. At least online…
Like, I’m not a lesser person for my disorder, but I HAVE a disorder. It’s my responsibility to myself to maximize my outcomes, and minimize the impacts.
Being critical of what distracts me, or triggers a tangential behavior track is so important to my being successful. In the case of cell phones, that is a known trap for even non ADHD folks, so my sharing it as relevant here isn’t some wacko suggestion hah
“throw your phone in the toilet” is not and has never been the solution to this problem in any universe under the sun, so no, it’s not just because they said something I don’t like. They’re just backpedalling.
If you’re aware of how adhd works then you of all people should know that “throw your phone in the toilet” is shite advice that only someone who doesn’t know how adhd works would give if you have adhd then you should know better than that.
Well my doctor advised me to limit intense distractions to allow me to focus on my wellness and accomplish tasks. I never said throw the phone away.
It took a lot of work to limit and change my habits, and help from my wife to help me block out stimuli and keep it away.
Executive function is fucking hard enough without bullshit attention sinks.
When there perfect fixes aren’t available, partial fixes are golden.
The phone is not the problem, it is a symptom.
And part of harm reduction is removing symptoms. Say, if you have a bad headache, you might not cure whatever is causing it by taking pain meds, but at least you’ll function.