dvttExtreme Misogyny in Incels Probably Not Caused by Sexual Frustration
zeppoSometimes people mix up the order of things and thus the cause and effect. For instance, with some medical issues, doctors have thought things like “oh, you went on this extreme diet, then you lost weight and had gastric issues”. No, I lost weight and had gastric issues, so I went on an extreme diet. In this case, i think the misogyny precedes lack of success at finding a partner. It can also be a situation of giving up too soon. For me, middle school and high school were so horrible in various ways that i assumed I was 100% doomed - I didn’t realize that life after 20 is very different. It still has high school social aspects, but it’s a lot better in many ways.
Please teach me how to make the best out of my 20s!
One tip, say yes more than you say no.
Of course, there are exceptions, but try to say yes more than you’d initially want. If coworkers are going out for drinks after work, but you’d rather go home and stream/game/etc, go out. Same for other social activities.
As someone in their 20s who detests that kind of thing and wouldn’t ever say yes, what’s the reasoning behind saying yes?
Drunk people are awful, and going out is loud and annoying. Is it just that it’s a good skill to be able to do things that make you miserable?
I 100% empathize with your situation. Mine was nearly identical in my early 20s. I’m very introverted, spending time with people is draining.
In my late 20s, I started forcing myself to say yes more to nearly anything and everything. I made some great new life long friends, had experiences that I’d never had considered in the past, and overall became a better person due to more varied experiences. Additionally, I’ve had many career opportunities open up because of these relationships.
Trust me, I know the comfort zone is easy to stay in and enjoy all the time. I do it still! But I also try to force myself out of my comfort zone. It makes me a better person with more perspectives to draw upon.
Finally, drinking doesn’t have to be the activity, that was a quick example. Going to the beach, go for a hike, go to an arcade or barcade, play board games, and on and on.
And if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine. But I’d highly suggest just trying it for a period of time. You may dislike it at first, but it will affect you as a person in many ways, some of those may be positive.