dvttExtreme Misogyny in Incels Probably Not Caused by Sexual Frustration
zeppoSometimes people mix up the order of things and thus the cause and effect. For instance, with some medical issues, doctors have thought things like “oh, you went on this extreme diet, then you lost weight and had gastric issues”. No, I lost weight and had gastric issues, so I went on an extreme diet. In this case, i think the misogyny precedes lack of success at finding a partner. It can also be a situation of giving up too soon. For me, middle school and high school were so horrible in various ways that i assumed I was 100% doomed - I didn’t realize that life after 20 is very different. It still has high school social aspects, but it’s a lot better in many ways.
Please teach me how to make the best out of my 20s!
If I was to redo my 20s. What worked was going to university in my mid 20s. I was able to finish it much quicker and made some close friends during by that time as well as set my career path going. What I wish I had done was move away from the city I grew up in. I only did it in my late 20s and I regret not doing it sooner.
Have lots of social interactions. It’s valuable. Set yourself up career wise. Always check to know you haven’t hit a ceiling where you’re working. Exercise and travel lots would be my key takeaways.
Great advice, thanks!
tetraodonSame here. I finished my BA at 27 and I went on to take an MA and then a PhD 10 years later.
One more piece of advice: don’t do drugs.
Eh I’d say experiment if you want, but be responsible about it. Don’t let it consume your life or have priority over family, friends, work, etc. If you’re going to party, best to get it out of your system when you’re young, when consequences are less impactful.
And if you do, do the fun stuff like weed, cocaine, shrooms, LSD, stuff like that. Don’t fuck with the dangerous stuff like heroin, fentanyl, meth, or pills like xanax or other benzos. Also alcohol can be dangerous too.
Problem with this is, when you realize it’s not fun anymore you’re sometimes too down the rabbit hole.
I did pot only but I wasted 5 years to stupidity and paranoia.
When you’re a teenager you’re not always aware of your mental health issues.
Doing drugs was good for me, but more than doing drugs was being selective about it. I smoked pot sparingly and dropped acid a few times when I was pretty sure I was in a good place mentally.
UbermeistersAlways check to know you haven’t hit a ceiling where you’re working
Disagree. Sometimes its perfectly fine to hit a ceiling if you are comfortable where you are and are withing comfortable means. This always look for better is exhausting, and 100% guarantees you will never like your job.
I think it’s important in your 20s to push yourself and know where your ambitions and priorities lie. Checking if your work is a dead end can also signify wherever you’re growing in your skill sets too.
What you don’t want is suddenly needing to push yourself later in life having to compete with people younger and hungrier than you. Try young and try hard will help minimise regret later.
How did going to uni in your 20s instead of straight out of high school affect your ability to socialize? Did it introduce any sort of unique struggles or problems, and if so, how did you deal with them?
I feel like going straight after high school allows you to naturally join all the parties and clubs. Which will definitely help with socialising. But I’m not a party guy so I might’ve felt left out and alone anyway.
Going later I made friends with mostly people in their mid 20s too. Which was good because we were more focused on graduating so it was more productive. The friendships I made felt tight and not a flash in a pan or party based. But that really depends on the people you meet.
I think it’s still worth going to uni straight after high school unless you have a good reason not to. What I can say is deciding to go later for career prospects is also great and not too late at all.