Good morning to readers; Kyiv remains in Ukrainian hands.

Today’s issue is a personal essay, titled ‘PTSD, Booze, and Me.’

It’s about what I learned from a dark period in my life while covering this war.

#Ukraine

http://counteroffensive.news

The Counteroffensive with Tim Mak | Substack

A war correspondent's open notebook, reporting live from Kyiv. Compelling human stories that illustrate what’s happening during the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Click to read The Counteroffensive with Tim Mak, a Substack publication with tens of thousands of subscribers.

There was a time, in August 2022, when I left Ukraine and swore I would never go back.

I was drinking heavily, five or seven beers a day, to ease the stress and anxiety.

And there was always something to be stressed about.

I like to say that the hardest thing to resist in life is the line between three and four drinks.

Three, and it’s a refreshing morning tomorrow.

Four drinks… is actually seven.

When I got out of #Ukraine, I went on vacation to surf, which is a sport I desperately love.

But I couldn’t feel any joy from it in #Portugal, one of the world’s premiere surf spots.

It was one of the most obvious signs that there was something terribly wrong.

Read the full essay, on how I started reporting out the issue of PTSD…

… and how friends and doctors and correspondents all gave me advice to get out of the hole I was in.

http://counteroffensive.news

The Counteroffensive with Tim Mak | Substack

A war correspondent's open notebook, reporting live from Kyiv. Compelling human stories that illustrate what’s happening during the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Click to read The Counteroffensive with Tim Mak, a Substack publication with tens of thousands of subscribers.

Over time, I just… started feeling better.

I began taking medication, which helped lessen my anxiety and depression.

Talk therapy sessions helped bring me gradually out of my state.

It’s sometimes hard to explain to friends how I went from pledging never to go back to Ukraine… to moving and living here.

As I recovered, I began to realize that reporting on the war in #Ukraine may be the most meaningful thing I ever do in my life and that I can make a small difference here.

And so here I am.

Before I came back, I asked a leading expert on #PTSD whether there was a way to build resilience before a traumatic event…

… and whether there are scientifically-backed ways to stave off PTSD before it gets a hold.

She made a couple suggestions: understand that you cannot always control life events, for one.

After a traumatic event, or series of events, caffeine and alcohol don't work particularly well.

Sleep to recover does.

@timkmak avoid the event...dont #Jointhearmy