Does Lisp have too much mutable state?
Do Haskell's monads got you down?

Then try Unlambda! For the discerning Pure Functional Programming Elitist!
Features include:
+ Language-level support for combinators! Who needs lambda?
+ Only six primitives! That's 66% more elegant than McCarthy's Lisp!
+ Pre-obfuscated! Don't worry about ingrates not appreciating your pure functional genius; even YOU won't be able to read it!