parthAug 27, 2023
Dare Obasanjo
When someone tells me they believe in brutal honesty, I immediately think about how the hard part of working with others is having empathy, assuming positive intent regardless of their actions and convincing them of the validity of your point of view.
Aug 27, 2023 at 2:43pmWeb
Show threadDark Sheep Arts Has MovedAug 27, 2023

@carnage4life

Agreed. Every time I say this, a good half dozen people crawl out of the woodwork claiming otherwise, but I have yet to see, outside of people claiming the opposite on internet posts, someone who prizes 'brutal honesty' being brutally honest about how much they care about someone, how much the respect them, how talented they are, etc.

Every real-life experience I have with people being 'brutally honest' is just someone saying whatever vile shite pops into their head on a whim.

Show threadDrew MochakAug 27, 2023
@carnage4life "I believe in brutal honesty"="I'm a loud opinionated jerk who no one wants around."
Show threadKenAug 27, 2023

@carnage4life Find/replace “brutal honesty” with “feeling spicy” and now you’ve got the 3 hour conversation with my product manager colleague that was how I ended my my Friday. 🌶️🥵

Brutal honesty has the upside of clearing out uncertainty and imprecision, but in the same way that a nuclear blast has the upside of taking all the pollen out of the air. There’s just that little side effect of the collateral damage.

It’s hard for me to figure out how to address this kind of behavior when it feels like it’s rewarded as “truth telling.” It’s easy to conflate empathetic, nuanced communication with “politics,” or “being indirect.”

Show thread❓ucblockheadAug 27, 2023
@carnage4life My impression is that people who say they believe in brutal honesty usually turn out to only believe in giving it, not receiving it.
Show threadJustin StachAug 27, 2023
@carnage4life The tell here is the use of ‘brutal’.