After work.
@Chrishallbeck it's interesting that right now, we are in the opposite situation - I'm organizing a work lunch for coworkers who haven't seen each other for almost a year.

@Chrishallbeck "You have to go!"

Thankfully as you get older the social pressure to attend these things fades over time. Nobody looks at me these days and thinks to themselves "You know, we should invite that guy to a party."

@Chrishallbeck This is literally me setting my personal boundaries. Now my coworkers respect my free time and won't bother me.
@Chrishallbeck
Missed punchline? "Can I join you?"
@lisamelton