Mordecai MartinThey eat well, they sleep deeply, they shit and piss publicly and with goodwill, they make merry all day long. A baby is a rabelaisian figure. A tiny Falstaff.
You know, Atenea would never let me get away with it, but I still feel remiss that I didn’t name the kid Godzilla. Impressive! Vaguely religious! Strong! Gender Neutral!
Spent a good half hour impersonating 70s sports broadcaster Howard Cosell interviewing my three day old child about their meteoric rise in Mexican football. Sometimes I threw an impression of Mohammed Ali into the mix, have him and Cosell make fun of each other back and forth. Good times.
We live on the first floor so the garbage truck outside is really loud. To stop it bothering the baby, we’ve taken to cranking the white noise machine. On ocean setting, you can pretend the back up beeping is seagulls!
Cool spiked hair thing this kid has going. What a punk rocker
The love I have for my child is vertiginous and wild. It is the eeriest and strangest sensation I have felt in a life of loving. I am undone. My wife told me last night that she loved our child more than me, and with great relief and joy, I told her the same. We’re going to be okay if we remember that shared value and let it guide us.
This kid is SNOOZING! Do I dare to dream of sneaking away to take a shit?!
This cat is being so good about the baby. He’s being SO GOOD! Always maintaining a respectful and curious distance, just asking for attention when he needs it, generally not causing trouble. We’re so proud of what a good big brother he’s being
Another morning holding this kid. Another golden morning.
Waiting around for my child to wake up as one waits for a king. I know this total awe of them as a being beyond me, a being of the future, can only last so long. But I intend to cherish it
Finding it easier to get things done as a dad than as a private citizen
A lovely walk in the park together this morning
A friend points out that the gig is physically demanding but not particularly intellectually stimulating .
My child was born with a cleft lip and is so gorgeous and adorable that it's good we're getting them the operation to close it, or else their famously beautiful face will start a weird cleft lip trend.
Roasting a chicken to feed my family after building a table all day, reaching peak dad pretty quickly over here.
I have more time off than I thought I'd have, and it makes me feel vaguely guilty.
Every day is a big adventure
I’m gonna shoot straight with you all: I had an extra large 3 pm Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee with a ton of cream and like, 6 Equals, and then I danced with my infant child until the oxytocin started flowing, so I am feeling large, in charge and exactly no pain.
Newborns are like an intricate puzzle box. Actually, the puzzle box is pretty basic and easy to solve, but it does keep screaming, so.
Pediatrician visit went well, but apparently the kids these days are into fussing and pretending to be constipated all night. Can’t say I approve of this trend. I blame Tik Tok
You can have a wife and child you love very much who love you and still be lonely, that’s something that can happen.
A crying baby is very demoralizing
Yesterday was one of this wonderful days when you see your family and loved ones for what they really are, the snug holding shape of them that lets you rest and be yourself among them. So grateful to have this child with these people.
How is my child this stunningly beautiful? I’m glad you asked. It has large parts to do with how stunningly gorgeous I myself am
Not being able to soothe a crying baby is a bad feeling, but one I’m learning not to take personally
I’m in a MFA in creative writing. We have two tracks, poetry and prose. I’ve been in prose this whole time. When my child was born, I joked, “I’m switching to poetry, it’s the only reasonable response to this feeling.” And that was funny . . . But now I’m doing it
Some days parenting a newborn is just making sure their hands don’t scare the crap out of them
Why are you, as the street outside my house while my baby is sleeping, so noisy?
Worse ways to start the day than coffee and baby snuggles
The cutest of my parenting responsibilities involves stopping my son’s startle reflex from waking him up. If he’s sleeping on my chest, as he is now, I do it by kissing his hands as they fly up to his face. It’s a very sweet game of whackamole
Moon joy@MordecaiMartin Mo this is just too much!
(I'm so happy for you. 💚)
@bright_helpings thanks bud! It’s a wild time but I love it!
My infant child is sleeping in my arms and both our stomachs are rumbling loudly. Pretty funny stuff
A real hard 48 hours. Minimum sleep, extra stress, less help. Just real tough
VirtualWolf
Brian@MordecaiMartin hang in there Mo!
Holding my child and realizing that’s all life needs from me in this moment. A great peace
My kid is just TEARING through this formula. Week 6 developmentally appropriate growth spurt Let’s Fuckinng Gooooooooooooo
It is so sweaty to have a baby sleep on you. I am losing electrolytes and this kid could NOT care less, smh
I don’t know if this was the first day of horrific gun violence since I became a parent, or if it’s just the first one I’ve noticed since the birth. I am thinking about how I want out, for me and my child. I want to go to another place, a place where this won’t happen.
No place is perfect. Mexico, where my wife’s family live and where I’m taking my child, has its own problems, some of them just as foolishly, ruthlessly violent (although much of that violence is also due to the intervention of the USA.)
But I’m sick of this place, the stochastic terrorism of it. I want out!
Ridiculous a calculation as it is, between losing my life to the sort of dangers that plague the lives of Mexicans and catching a bullet from some white supremacist gunman who the news will pretend is acting alone, I’d rather risk Mexico.
I’m getting out.
cyborgneticz@MordecaiMartin as a teacher who regularly worries about school shootings, I understand
I'm excited for you and your family. Would prayers for safe travel be ok?
I'm excited for you and your family. Would prayers for safe travel be ok?
@Cyborgneticz well it’s not happening for another year, but appreciate your thoughts
@MordecaiMartin that still feels so soon
We decided to just use the pronouns that “go” with my kid’s genitals for a couple of reasons, but we’re trying to remember and continue advocating, to others but much more importantly, to them, that they can be anything they want, including trans if that is what they want and who they are. Even so, I find myself using gendered language in an overly familiar way that bugs me when I look at it through the lens of queerness and all I’ve learned from trans friends and family. Stuff like “thattaboy” and thinking fondly of them as “my son”, one in a long line of men unbroken back through my father’s father etc. Sentimental, and might even be harmless, but insidious. I’m trying to remember, this kid has the whole world in front of them, genders included. My job is to keep that world wide and beautiful and interesting and safe and fun and true for as long as possible, and let them make the choices, just as long as they don’t become a cop or a soldier. So I’m trying to shift my language. Instead of “my beautiful son” “my beautiful child” No “what a sweet boy” but “what a sweet baby.”
This is me trying to give my kid the whole world. Why should femininity or trans ness or non binary life be off the table, just cuz I’m using he/him?
mj@MordecaiMartin it is such a difficult thing to work to undo. But you're doing good work already to actively dismantle it in your own thinking and there's a lot you can do to expose him to the rich variety of humanity and have active conversations about it (and how not only do theirs variations exist but they might apply to him too and if that's the case, you celebrate it!)
@MordecaiMartin those* not theirs.