Still, you should apologize. While it’s perfectly normal to lose your cool sometimes, I make it a point to never let it lie when it happens. I always make sure to apologize, if for no other reason than to make sure that there is never any doubt that I do care about someone. There’s always a risk of leaving a seed of “is that what they really think of me” if you did or said something you don’t mean.

Even if the words spoken were true, it’s still a good idea to express regret that you said them that way, which you clearly feel. Don’t keep that to yourself, let her know too, and talk about it.

There’s not enough here to even warrant an AITA, I think, whether you’ve gone “too far” is up to your friend.

I’ll add that friendship is never owed, while your frustration is understandable, being there for someone isn’t a matter of giving credit and then collecting debts. That said, if you do need someone, some people do have to be asked, to be there for you. And even then, a “no, I can’t help you” is still useful, in that it will let you direct your energy into finding what you need elsewhere.