@futurebird guilt is the con artist of emotions. Only bad people feel guilty. Let me repeat, only bad people feel guilty. Bad people get to point to their guilt to frame themselves as good people but guilt feels really bad so in short order, they resent the people they have harmed that make them feel guilty, so they feel justified in harming them AGAIN. If I point out to someone that I was harmed by their behavior and their response is “I feel guilty,” I RUN. That person will never change nor take responsibility for their behavior. What good people experience when they have harmed someone is remorse. Yeah, you feel bad, but it comes with a sense of responsibility: that behavior was unworthy of me so I better not do that again. It’s the difference between “I’m sorry you were offended” and “I’m sorry I hurt you.” When the right makes claims about white guilt, they are broadcasting that not only will they not change, they plan to punish people for making them feel guilty.

@futurebird and because these people are effectively stunted, they project white guilt onto the rest of us because they can’t imagine that people could possibly respond in any other way. They have no idea that those of us white people who support BLM aren’t doing it because we feel guilty. We feel responsible. Guilt is how people absolve themselves of responsibility. They have no concept of helping people because it’s just what you do. They have no ethic of caring. Which is why the caring professions are so undervalued.

@cadenza @futurebird "Only bad people feel guilty" is not true. And saying it also creates a positive feedback loop. Not to invalidate any other points you made, they are pretty interesting.

@sanfierro @futurebird no, I stand by what I said. Guilt is the conman of emotions. Good people, i.e. those who take responsibility for their actions, feel remorse. Remorse encourages you to take responsibility and resolve never to do it again. Guilt absolves you of that responsibility. It is really the difference between “I’m sorry I hurt you” (remorse) and the non-apology of “I’m sorry you were offended” (guilt). Guilt makes you feel bad to your core, so then you start to resent the person you hurt who made you feel guilty and then you feel justified in doing it again. Remorse doesn’t make you feel bad all the way down because you realize you have a choice and you can make that choice not to do it again.

@cadenza @futurebird Let me give you an example. I'm pretty sure many gay people in this world feel guilty for being gay. Even though they are good people and it's perfectly okay to be gay. Or is that remorse again?

@sanfierro @futurebird that’s not guilt. That’s shame. You can only feel guilt for what you do, not what you are. And good people are made to feel shame all the time. Shame is not the fault of the people experiencing it.

@cadenza @futurebird Oh, an interesting perspective. I'll write it down for myself as a possible truth.

@cadenza @futurebird I think the border between "what you are" and "what you do" can be blurry, so can the border between shame and guilt. Imagine a person who does something. For whatever reason they think they're doing something bad, the cause isn't necessarily the society, I'm talking in the general sense. What they're doing is actually neutral or even good, and it can even be done with best intentions, they just don't know it. Now, if they don't know it, how can their brain choose to turn on shame instead of guilt?