Rather than trying to head off the unusual unpleasantness about clout-chasers and the ritually/technologically impure, I will just say this:

I wrote this up for fedi people who are actively curious and interested in other people, and I'm not going to worry too much about how it lands for those who aren't.

The tl;dr (because TL! it's TL) is that, for this group:

- people feel stressed and anxious when they get yelled at for breaking rules and norms they didn't know about

- it's hard to find people and conversations, and specifically hard to follow people across instances

- people want better organic and algorithmic ways to connect with each other

- instance-picking stresses people out, and a lot of the sign-up and settling-in processes are confusing and/or too much work for unknown returns

Lastly! I squeaked this post in under a rapidly dropping door—I'm going to be really busy for a day or so and then offline for awhile. If you ask questions after today and don't hear back, that's probably why!

Please be cool with each other and don't make me come back to screaming fights in my replies. <3

@kissane

Reading through now.

In case I forget (I always forget):

"building cultural norms into the tooling is much more effective and less alienating than chiding"

One of the best encapsulations of this idea, born of the challenges of managing the StackOverflow community norms (which tend towards scolding like lava) and Discourse (which aims to be the opposite), is Jeff Atwood's "Just In Time" Theory of User Behaviour:

https://blog.codinghorror.com/the-just-in-time-theory/

I return to this a lot - it's useful.

@kissane

Re. the second "couldn’t find people or interests" group, I viscerally feel this.

I set up an alt-account to indulge in therapeutic socialising around the (big) football (soccer) team I follow.

The experience has been excruciatingly difficult in many ways. It's been a job. I'm two week into relentless *work* to drum up even a little consistent sociability. It's been almost zero fun. If I were normal, I'd have given up on day two.

Two idea I think would make it easier (cont)...

@kissane

1. Hashtags are indeed essential in the absence of an algorithm. But people either forget to use them, or just don't because they've been conditioned not to. It would help enormously to have a mechanism by which we could auto-tag posts; i.e. insert one of more tags quickly based on what I'm posting about. In addition, it would help if tags copied into replies, like handles do.

(cont)...