Some_Emo_ChickJul 28, 2023

The Onion takes the shot and hits hard.

https://lemmy.world/post/2294886

The Onion takes the shot and hits hard. - Lemmy.world

Show threadsaegiru

The article itself gets even better, and I especially loved this line:

At press time, McConnell had reportedly died after hearing the song “Happy” by Pharrell.

Biggest Benefits Slaves Got From Slavery

Following Florida’s decision to release new standards for teaching African American history in schools, The Onion examines the biggest benefits slaves got from slavery.

The Onion
Jul 28, 2023 at 2:57pmWeb
Show threadloamJul 28, 2023
Beautiful. I just found another good one on there.
Elderly Senators Amused To Discover Their Strokes Syncing Up

WASHINGTON—Discovering the phenomenon as they all received emergency medical attention at the same time, several elderly senators reportedly found it amusing Thursday that their strokes seemed to be syncing up. “I’ve heard of this happening, but I honestly thought it was a myth,” a distant, glassy-eyed Mitch McConnell…

The Onion
Show threadsome_guyJul 28, 2023

Great final sentence on that one, too!

At press time, the elderly senators reportedly realized they also used the same brand of super absorbent diapers.