1/2
I originally came to this instance to explore sexuality—I guess the instance name gives that away! But it turns out I’ve been preoccupied all along with something else instead: gender identity, and being inspired by the journeys of many trans people.

When I arrived here, I saw myself as bigender. I felt entirely female on the inside, and have done so for many years. But the outside was… well… something else, something I don’t really identify with.

I coped with that split for a long time. I was raised a stoic in post-war Britain when rationing was still in place. You made do and you kept quiet about it. But now that I’ve emigrated to a different country, that stoicism has cracked, and I just can’t play those silly societal expectation games anymore. I’m living for me, not for society, and I get one shot at it. And I admit it: the dysphoria is real, it’s horrible, it’s debilitating, and I want it gone.

(continued...)