I hate tequila in a spite-fuck sense that I'll drink it just to remind myself how much I hate it.

Probably as much as I love anything, I hate tequila. The more I drink it, the less I have left to love about life, and the easier it is to drink. Before long, everything is tequila, and you can smell it in the air around you, like satan's ass-crack.

Here's to the goddamn agave plant someday vanishing up its own ass and going on to bother another plane of existence where I'm not around, damn it.