Nuki Raccoon: Fedi's Favorite Furry F***posterI'm a simple girl.
People give me Amazon gift cards, I use them on dildos.
And right now, once again, the #DildoDeliveryDude is out on another dildo drive.
Keeping an eye on the delivery, imagining some video where someone is telling porch pirates they need to stop doing that, because what if you find a dildo.
"You stole it, you got to use it."
"No matter how big it is, you gotta shove it up your own ass."
"Better hope they ordered lube!"
*holds up dildo*
"Can you fit this in yo asshole?"
*Leans in and lowers voice*
"~'cause I can.~"
Long story short, my take is that people who steal packages off of porches should have things stuffed in their butts.
H. A. Kirsch@Nuki anal glitter bomb
Veloxization 
Just doing another #DildoCheck, seeing if the #DildoDeliveryDude is close enough that I should put pants on.
Amazon just told me the #DildoDeliveryDude won't be here for at least another hour and a half, perhaps several.
I guess I'll set an alarm, and go get something done outside the house. #DildoWatch2023 will resume at like, 3:30, Texas time.