Twitter Death CultMatt Levine continues his run of being the writer who best keeps on top of Musk’s bullshittery:
https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2023-07-03/insider-trading-is-better-from-home
Things are going great at twitter!
This is amazing to me; this is a carefully phrased statement released by whatever fragments of a PR department twitter has left, and it's just not able to disguise the loopiness with corporate-speak. These are the kind of people who can reframe eradicating indigenous peoples as "revitalizing deprived areas with new investment", and they can't make Elons flailings sound anything but insane.
If you, a corporate communications professional have to use the word "extreme"*, you are in trouble. That is a scare word, and your job is to soothe your users, your board, your investors and your advertisers.
"While this work will never be done" = "this chaos is not going to end any time soon" = RUN AWAAAAAAY
* barring the use of XXXXtreme Flavor, of course
This is just the "moments" feature they killed not long ago, moved to a different place on the UI and now you have to pay to use it.
Just put it all behind a pay wall Elmo and free everyone already.
big deal who even uses google to find tweets anyway twitter's search works perfectly fine and it totally doesn't matter that you have to log in to your account to use it
so it seems that some of the blue check simps are starting to realise that they can't pay to make their posts worth reading and are giving up on, leaving only the most pathetic ones still paying
https://www.theneweuropean.co.uk/the-slow-sad-death-of-twitter/
"if I get a blue check I'll have a million followers in no time" is very "if I buy a rolex I'll be just like a rich guy" energy
but rolex sells a million watches a year for 10 grand a pop, elon is getting $4.75 after app store fees. he should have made it at least a grand a mo.
steal gasoline with one weird trick car owners hate!
lmao literally just advertising crime
gas siphoners, collapsible weapons, secret fire starters, car door unlocker wands, MyPillows, only the best advertisements on ElonTwitter
Is that a fact?
"Twitter is not the right place to seek information during an emergency, Dutch politicians and a prominent online group said on Wednesday, following an incident in which citizens were directed to the platform for updates during a large storm.
...
"You might see one tweet with great information from emergency services, but maybe there are 10 tweets that Twitter prioritizes which contain completely false information," he said."
Twitter not suited for emergency communications, Dutch say after storm
Twitter is not the right place to seek information during an emergency, Dutch politicians and a prominent online group said on Wednesday, following an incident in which citizens were directed to the platform for updates during a large storm.
Fucked over a massive portion of his workforce then gets mad when those same people go work for his rivals for better pay and job security
Twitter paid Wachtell a huge bonus for beating Musk in court, and now Musk is trying to clawback that bonus.
It's genius. Sue the lawyers that are now your lawyers only because they beat you in court and forced that dipshit to buy twitter.
He is so mad they beat him
at least the worst of the hate speechers are getting moderated on Threads and then running back to Twitter to cry about it
didn’t he leave a huge amount of contract money on the table to do this
I sure do love that Elon bought his favorite theme park and decided he was much happier with it as a total shithole. And now he goes ballistic that people are leaving his theme park for a shittier diet theme park that opened next door. The diet theme park's rides don't work yet but they do have a staff actively sweeping up occasionally, and that alone makes it a hugely attractive option for a big portion of what was once his exclusive clientele.
And lol that Trump successfully called a shot in not returning to twitter.
He has made his own little fiefdom, pathetic and small as it is. There was nothing really for him to gain in going back to Twitter and being potentially under someone else's control once again. It would also be a tacit admission that his network failed, and Trump wasn't going to let that happen.
So we’ve gone from Musk was forced to buy Twitter after desperately trying to get out of his agreement, to Musk wanted to buy Twitter to make it better actually, to now Musk invented Twitter...
thinking positively of elon musk is a degenerative condition it seems
as much as twitter sucks now it’s still got posters who will go down swinging
Nate sprinting past bronze, past tin, towards the grody elements that decay really quickly and have no real application
Elon: "please post your videos on my platform where nobody will be able to find them and they will immediately be flooded with blue-boosted crypto scammers and schizos in the replies."
Lol that dude isn't posting shit to Twitter until Mush puts his John Hancock on a massive contract and the check clears. Mr. Beast is gross, but he knows which side his bread is buttered on.
Musk: "please help me libsoftiktok i need your antivax strength to get people killed"
lol when MontanaSkeptic posted a SeekingAlpha article about how Tesla's books were absolutely cooked, Elon called his boss and tried to get him fired
Jesus christ, this is like reddit meltdown levels of posting.
What a sad man.
Apparently twitter is the new wingnut welfare
Very cool to start paying the worst posters for their dogshit takes, way better than paying severance.
data $0 (we aren't paying our cloud suppliers anymore)
rent $0 (we aren't paying our rent anymore)
krassenstein payments $24305
utilities $0 (see above)
someone who is good at the economy help me budget this. my company is dying
suing 4 john does
lol good luck
we will answer the questions. What questions? the important ones. they’re easy to answer we just haven’t asked them yet. we will find out what questions to ask. we will find the questions to the answers to the universe, and then we will be the ones who have all the questions
hey look a nerd reference, give me 44 billion dollars
Poop back and forth. With the same poop. Forever.
Internet Hall of Fame literally only reposts screenshots of tweets. Which Elon explicitly said would be demonetized... 🤔
The people who scream for answers on why they're not getting engagement are definitely going to calm down now that they think they're missing out on direct payments
[guy who was definitely a terrible father and also explicitly hates his trans daughter] my kids don't like me, because of jiu jitsu,
just like with gab and parler etc. the right-wing absolutely hate being in their own echo chamber because then they realise they're all antisocial freaks with shit-stained undies and zero friends
they crave having liberals to wrinkle their nose at the smell of said undies and frown at their absolutely dogshit takes
So predictable, he thinks he's in control, and that this gives him leverage over his pet chuds, and everyone else will just shut up.
Pat yourself on the titanium plate buddy!
Sean C.