Never more nervous - Lemmy.world

So true 😞…
For me it’s a 50/50 chance that either it was right in front of my face exactly where I was looking, or we’re actually out of it. No in between
Exactly the same.
If you call your wife a bitch, you’re doing it wrong
“And I said, biiiiiitch …”
That whole part is silent, of course 😁. Dare say that in front of her and you better run 😂.
Did you really say bitch though?

Of course not, lol, that whole paragraph is silently going on in my head 😂.

To be perfectly honest, my wife scares the shot out of me, she’s like 300 pounds, you don’t want to mess with that 😂.

You need this!

youtu.be/5LGEiIL1__s

Key & Peele - I Said Bitch

YouTube

Man, I miss hanging out with people who hate their wives…

And yeah, I needed that 😂.

I did I said shoulder check biiitch
I said I said… biiiiiitch
I looked her in the windows of her soul and I said biiiiiiisssshhhhhh
You said that? You said “bitch”?
No, just thought of it loudly in my head 😂.
Like many people, I suffer from Refrigerator Blindness. My wife, however, does not. I learned to never assume we are out of something. I always assume I just can't see it.
As a married man, I just prefer to eat out and have hidden stores in high places of the house.

This is even more fun in a professional kitchen.

“Bro, we had three people look and be unable to find it, add it to the 86 list.”

“I just saw some in the walk in” Goes to look

don’t insist
Ultimate survival tip is here 👆🏻

I realized that when I look for something, I have a precise mental image of what I’m looking for. If the real object doesn’t match my mental image, it may as well not exist.

Case in point, my girlfriend asked me to get her allergy meds. I was looking for a box with blister packs, they were in a bottle. I literally moved the bottle aside while looking, before telling her that I can’t find them

I just go straight to the step where I ask her and she gets frustrated because it’s right in front of my stupid face
“It’s right here!”
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/rickandmorty/images/4/49/Scaryterry2.png
My problem is, I’m often convinced we are NOT out of something when we are. Can be more painful when cooking.
“Did you move things?!”
Tell her to make you a sandwich while she’s checking, tell her it’ll calm her down and stop her from getting emotional.