Matthew | The Autistic CoachJul 9, 2023

Don’t be edgy.

Edgy is being passive-aggressive.

Being passive-aggressive is an NT communication style, not an autistic one.

Some autistic people internalize this as part of their masks.

If you want to be passive-aggressive, just be “aggressive” and say what you want. Be you. Don’t sugar coat.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic

Show threadElizabethJul 9, 2023
@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic I agree in principle. There are gender dynamics at play too sometimes though where growing up as female when and where I did , the main message is don’t upset other people. Took me a while to realize that trying not to upset them is why I was sometimes passive-aggressive. Haven’t thought about masking in regards to that yet but it’s an excellent point so I will.
Show threadClaire

@Elizabeth3 @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic I would add that there is also often more in play. Ex: CPTSD can make it difficult to be direct because of fight/flight/freeze and dissociation.

So if being passive aggressive is what works to get your needs met, I would offer the invitation to prioritize getting your needs met.

Or if you don't have the energy to have the conversation but feel like it's standing up for yourself, do it. To me, it's do you, whatever that is.

Jul 9, 2023 at 2:53pmWeb