Mastodawn

Kevin Ferron Jul 5, 2023

Ricki Yasha Tarr

If you come upon a post with a hopeful and positive message about the world or our future, why don't you take a moment to consider these things before you post a negative comment about why people should be afraid and anxious:

What is my motivation? Why do I want to add negativity to this post?

Am I assuming people don't already understand the information I'm adding? Most people are well aware of the issues facing the world, having hope doesn't mean they are hiding their head in the sand, good things exist along with the bad.

Would this be better as a post sent from my own account?

Do I have any helpful solutions people can actually engage in, that they aren't already, or am I just being a Doomsayer?

I know it's scary out there right now, and it's easy to lean towards the negative. People without hope and joy have nothing to fight for. That doesn't mean they don't care, but no one should spend all their time in the darkness, we need light to thrive.

StrugglingGuitarist Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr This is excellent.

Annie in Progress Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr ❤️ ricki Peace and Love back at you.

Aviva Gary Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr Sometimes people really don't know what they don't know however hope is entirely needed if we are ever to pull resources, figure out a solution and make it happen captain.

Hope is needed for life.

(This was very good)

mhenry Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr
Most of these people know full well what they're doing. Imaginary internet points are amazingly motivating.

Matthias Rex 🦣Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr There's always someone who needs to pee on your sandcastle.

geobeck Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr
With everything negative in the world (and I see a lot of negative trends), when I see a post with hope and optimism, I want to boost it because we need more hope in this world.

With the corollary that if it's complete misinformation, I want to provide factual context.

I would add to NOT post about problems without posting solutions that are doable for most people.

Otherwise it is sadistic and unwanted.

I think most people on Mastodon know about climate change, the right wing running rampant, inflation, etc.

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@beforewisdom I understand sometimes people want to vent, so I don't blame them, but it's certainly overwhelming to see all the bad a feel helpless in it

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

@beforewisdom @RickiTarr 'ive got mine, how DARE you wsnt me yo care about the fact my benefits are coming at your expense!

Jfc

Can you be MORE selfish and spiteful if you were TRYING?

I might be insulted if I could understand your writing.

One nice thing about Mastodon is that you can edit your posts.

Happy Wednesday.

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

The solution includes you having an obligation to HELP OUT.

Nobody needs to prioritize your comfort.

COLLECTING THE INFORMATION NEEDED TO SOLVE PROBLEMS REQUIRES TALKING ABOUT THOSE PROBLEMS IN DETAIL.

1. I don't have children
2. I don't eat animal products
3. I drive a small car

Think before you write, and don't make assumptions about people.

Have a nice life.

Jim. From Kansas.Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr Yes!

I have enough negativity and cynicism in my head for three people, but I refuse to ruin anyone else's joy.

natriumchloride Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr wanting to do good things & make positive change to the world is not mutually exclusive to not wanting to wallow in gloom, but often an impression is left that if you want to remain positive (and mentally healthy) that it means you are also ignorant. Which is not necessarily true

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr
Perhaps you should ask yourself that question about your motivation for posting this.
Its a very ugly framing that implies you feel entitled to decide that your desire to AVOID acknowledging other people's suffering outweighs THEIR right to express that suffering as a way to reach for human connection.

Its a very selfish take.

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr #ToxicPositivity is actively harmful.

And asking someone marginalized to stop talking a about their lives simply because you don't think their wellbeing matters as much as your discomfort with extending a bit of compassion...

Is plain wrong.

Choosing to be a good person is not pleasant....
But in terms of confidence, and being comfortable with yourself as a human being..
Is incomparably superior to the alternative of wanting everyone to be NICE!

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@CatHat I'm not talking about stopping people from sharing their burden or telling anyone to sit down and shut up, the opposite actually. What I am talking about is high jacking someone's post for your own agenda. If someone posts about their own joy and hope why can't they? What do you gain by acting like they have no right? We need both things in the world. I boost and write plenty of posts about negative things that go on in this world, but if someone posts about a fun road trip they are on and I go on a rant about all the negative things about cars in their comments, or if I see a trans person sharing their excitement at finding a cute dress that makes them feel more like themselves, I'm not going to say, That's nice, but you know many trans kids never get access to hormone therapy, that's rude and doesn't help anyone. All I'm trying to say is allow people their hope and joy. If you need to vent make your own post.

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

Mostly i was reacting to the replies rather than your own much more nuanced question.
There's a LOT of toxic positivity there.

In terms of your question.
Whenever people respond with being hostile and angry.

Honestly think about where that is anger comes from.
You asked "why don't yourself they stop and think"

And the answer is often PAIN.
the best response to pain is usually compassion.
also
Unselfish joy is a wonderful thing. full stop.
AND the world needs to know it happens

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@CatHat I can understand that, compassion is the way forward

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr 💯💯💯💯💯

I think that actually may be part of why so many bigots are are terrified of seeing trans people being happy.

because that happiness is impossible to dismiss as fake.
It acts like a mirror for hateful people to look at themselves in.
Empathetic people are to busy enjoying the fact that someone is happy to notice themselves

Jaap Zeldenrust (he/him)Jul 6, 2023

@CatHat @RickiTarr I did not expect this conversation to end up in a reasonable, nuanced place, but it did.

I don't know if that's due to the overall culture on Mastodon, or just a happy coincidence, or something else, but I'm very happy to see this kind of conversation play out differently than what I'm used to.

It's the kind of pick-me-up my catastrophizing, autistic ass needed today.

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 6, 2023

@jozeldenrust @RickiTarr

:)
Im happy to hear it!

And i agree. This conversation was definitely win for everyone.

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 6, 2023

@jozeldenrust @CatHat Any conversation that ends in me getting a better understanding and making a new friend is a win for me.

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

This isn't to say that joy and hope are bad!
The difference is whether they come as part of a larger picture that accepts both the ugly and the wonderful aspects of humanity

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@CatHat I think we are all sharing in suffering at least to some extent, I do understand that some people are dealing with a lot, my main issue is people shitting on someone else's Sundae, let's share loses, yes, but let's share wins too.

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr this is why i said compassion and understanding are not FUN.
It hurts to know people are suffering and it hurts when someone is selfish and makes things worse...
But i also can listen, and CARE. I can find peace with myself in sharing both their pain
And joy
A simple fact is that is also the most powerful thing in the world

Hat. AuDHD cat 😷🌺🍉🌻🔻Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr
I have The Rose running through my head right now.
irs one of the most powerful songs ever written.

@RickiTarr
I think some people also feel guilty, especially if they actually don't have it so bad themselves

(and compared to a lot of people, if someone has the time and resources to hang around social media reminding strangers to feel bad, they're generally at the more okay end of the spectrum)

so I think it's also a form of self flagellation and emotional mortification

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@fsnk That's a good point

Fudrucker Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr I love this post! Thank you.

does the thing I wrote yesterday fall into this category?

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@dkloke No you're fine, I didn't think it was negative, just going through your thought process.

okay. because what you're talking about was on my mind while writing it. and i wanted to live up to that concept.

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@dkloke That's what I figured, seemed like a reasonable and well thought out response.

Semi Sentient AI Cooling Water Jul 5, 2023

Just read this. I relate.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/jul/05/britons-personally-optimistic-nationally-pessimistic-research-finds

Britons ‘personally optimistic, nationally pessimistic’, research finds

Study finds 91% of people feel ‘happy or OK’ but have less positive view of the ‘world out there’

The Guardian

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 5, 2023

@sentient_water That is relatable.

Semi Sentient AI Cooling Water Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr Basically the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket but I'm gonna enjoy the ride anyway. (Also try to do some good along the way.)

(moved)Galbinus Caeli 🌯Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr this tiny bumper sticker made my day today.

Herzleid Jul 7, 2023

@SkipHuffman
#Alt4You image description:
Photo from the rear of a silver Subaru with California plates. Above the blue Subaru logo with the stars is a small white sticker with all-caps text:
Thank you
I love you

Tanya Karoli 4 a better world Jul 5, 2023

@RickiTarr This! So much this!
Be considerate. Be kind ♥️

Sue Jul 6, 2023

@RickiTarr PREACH!

Matt Willemsen Jul 6, 2023

@RickiTarr One more: Would this be better if posted on birdsite?

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 6, 2023

@RickiTarr “There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.” -Samwise Gamgee

@RickiTarr I wish I could boost this 1000 times. Thank you for saying this.

Marco Panichi Jul 6, 2023

@RickiTarr I really loved this text. Specially in the context a new social network was launched to oppose an old one known for its hate spreading. Few days ago was reading Pinker’s “New Illuminism” and he reflected how pessimism authors in social sciences are more respected in academia. Pessimism is easy. It’s about looking to the obvious: the problem. Our brains are hardwired to identify menaces and dangers. However hope and develop solutions after realizing a problem, is for a few.

Luke Bergen Jul 7, 2023

@RickiTarr love this! Been thinking about outcome oriented thinking a lot lately and this resonates so hard with me. Like, what specifically are you trying to accomplish long term when you gloom-dump on the nice things that we do have?

Ricki Yasha Tarr Jul 7, 2023

@Xoriff I think people are more receptive to a stand alone post as well. There is information people need to know, and how it's presented is important. I'm afraid in the comments of someone else's post is more likely to fall under the radar. It's definitely important to share joys and victories, as well as concerns.