I just don't see why any instance with a strong philosophy would think they can exist as the largest instance long term. I'm sure with time places like Lemmy.world that have a broad appeal will become the largest. The only question for instances like Beehaw is do they want to A) have all of their major discussion happen in communites run in other instances? B) Have the major Lemmyverse discussion that most alligns with Beehaw's core values and message happen on Beehaw where they are able to steer it? or C) be a little insulated bubble that doesn't really participate directly in the wider Lemmyverse discussion even on topics that matter to them?

Any of the three are fine choices (I think the best version of the Lemmyverse is option B) personally) but they are a choice they need to be clear on.

What I'd seen of Beehaw's own content about what they are, why they exist and what they are trying to do largely suggested they'd be entirely compatible with Lemmy.world so I presumed I was doing something wrong when I couldn't connect to them from here. If they really just decided to exclude us because we're growing larger that seems like a mistake. "We don't talk to large communities" isn't really a good core value for a community to grow with.

I wonder if the issue is that Beehaw (I'm told) is careful about who they allow to join and so people who wish to cause trouble there are joining other Lemmy instances, not to participate in those other instances but as a backdoor to using Beehaw disruptively. If that is the case, then Beehaw needs to find a more elegant solution or they will have to block contact with any external instance eventually.