mizu

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

https://lemmy.world/post/440073

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack? - Lemmy.world

Please don’t ask why I need this. It would be great if the food also made me sweat less. It has to be something I can easily find. EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION: - I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities. - I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere. - I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere. - I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully). - Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself. - If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets. Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Jun 22, 2023 at 9:01pmWeb
Show threadtebroJun 22, 2023
I was concerned of the amount of users not being enough to generate content, but so far I have been proven wrong. And the quality of the content is much better. At least for now.
Show threadmizuJun 22, 2023
Huh?
Show threadadj16Jun 22, 2023
They’re ribbing you a little bit for making such a weird post. They were worried that fewer users on Lemmy would mean less interesting and unique posts, but here you are, making the most unusual content most of us have seen all day (or week).
Show threadsomeguy3Jun 23, 2023
The opposite of a shitpost.
Show threadadj16Jun 23, 2023
😆 nice one
Show threadtebroJun 23, 2023
That wasn’t actually it 😂 I was replying to some other post and after the fact realized that something has gone weird as I suddenly saw this post title up top. Seems my comment deletion didn't quite take
Show threadimaqtpieJun 23, 2023

Lmao I've seen this happen a few times before and I knew it would end up being hilarious at some point.

Congrats, you just got a lucky little bit of Lemmy history.

Show threadFreemanJun 23, 2023
Its an entertaining post and thread
Show threadWanderJun 22, 2023
I've actually gotten really good replies over a communities like [email protected]
Selfhosted - Lemmy.world

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Show threadRomanRoyJun 22, 2023

I mean, it really makes sense that self hosted communities grow strong in Lemmy, since it is self hosted.

That's why I'm pissed at the suckers at homelab

Show threadMugmoorJun 24, 2023
Honestly /r/homelab is such a useless sub anyways. It's like /r/guitarpedals. Posts of the new gear people have bought, but have no clue how to use.
Show threadHobbitFoot Jun 22, 2023
This whole set of comments, no shit.
Show threadlivusJun 22, 2023
Literally. That is the objective.
Show threadatwerpJun 23, 2023

no shit

yes, that's the whole point, didn't you read the post?

Show threadjaepostenJun 22, 2023
Sunflower seeds
Show threadmizuJun 22, 2023

Thanks a lot. I'm not sure I can easily find them where I am right now but I'll try.

Edit: Wait... don't sunflower seeds contain fibres? Shouldn't that make it harder to hold poop in?

Show threadKettlepantsJun 22, 2023
It won't be poop, it'll mostly be butter-style spread if that's all you're consuming. Wrapped up in a cellulose husk. Prepackaged for your convenience.
Show threadBriongloidJun 22, 2023
Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.
Show threadWanderJun 22, 2023
I did not know that. I might want to consider eating more cheese just to have more time :P
Show threadbkmps3Jun 22, 2023

This. I’m ex-military. Our ration packs came with these highly processed cans of cheese. I’d go 4-5 days without doing a shit.

Was never a good time after though

Show threadVelkasJun 22, 2023
Ugh, I'd die. Dairy allergy means I'd shit my brains out
Show threadassa123Jun 22, 2023
That would be counterproductive xD
Show threadBilb!Jun 22, 2023
I always hear MREs cause days-long constipation, but they probably aren't in the "easy to find" category.
Meal, Ready-to-Eat - Wikipedia

Show threadDiskolikewhoaJun 22, 2023
Was going to say this too. Especially processed cheese, that'll bind up your insides tighter than a sub in a vacuum bed.
Show threaddakerDrawsJun 23, 2023
Does that work for (a good portion of the population) who are lactose intolerant?
Show threadAndyGHKJun 23, 2023
“Hon hon hon, eet seems le poupeaux, she has surrendered!!”
Show threadMajorMajormajormajorJun 22, 2023
1 word: pancakes. Nature's cork.
Show threadassclapcalamityJun 22, 2023
okeydokey for the weirdo who doesn't shit from eating flour, eggs and milk. maybe you should drink more water?
Show threadunomasJun 23, 2023

pancakes. Nature’s cork.

Nobody's ever said that before.

Show threadMajorMajormajormajorJun 23, 2023
You obviously haven't rolled a pancake up into a cylinder and give it the tappy tap up the ol' poop chute eh? You're missing out.
Show threadhomesnatchJun 23, 2023
Intense scribbling.. With or without the maple syrup?
Show threadMajorMajormajormajorJun 23, 2023
Without, do you want ants? That is how you get ants.
Show threadWanderJun 22, 2023
Do you need energy? So there's something called the pineapple diet (please ask your doctor first) where you eat pineapple for three days to lose weight. Biggest problem here is the spam, so I guess you'd have to use some sort of food that can be rehydrated like soylent.
Show threadmizuJun 22, 2023
I'm not allowed to eat pineapple for medical reasons 😅. Thanks for replying though.
Show threadPatJun 22, 2023
I’d you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.
Show threadTheMightyCanuckJun 22, 2023
Meat sweats lmao
Show threadmizuJun 22, 2023
Thanks a lot. It should be easy to find food like that where I'm going.
Show threadSirShanovaJun 22, 2023
At a guess, are you going to Philmont? Pack in, pack out your human waste?
Show threaddanc4498Jun 22, 2023
Why do you need this?
Show threadmizuJun 22, 2023
I’m sorry but i really can’t say that here
Show threadwithdrawnJun 22, 2023
Just stay away from expensive submersible trips.
Show threaddenemdenemJun 22, 2023
As far as I know the last one went to shit real fast.
Show threadintensely_humanJul 21, 2023

You ever had your shit puuuushed iiiiiin?

— Atlantic Ocean

Show threadNewNewAccountJun 22, 2023
Dude’s going to jail and has poop anxiety.
Show threadBernie EcclestonedJun 22, 2023

Can you take a packed lunch to jail?

It's no picnic! Lol

Show threadsunaurusJun 22, 2023

What I would do in this situation would be a 4-day fast. It's not for everybody, but you might want to at least consider it, because it's definitely doable, and some people even claim it's healthy (disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, don't take medical advice from random people on the internet).

To prepare, I would suggest switching to OMAD (one meal a day - effectively you will be fasting 23h every day) up until the trip. OMAD will help your body adjust to long periods of not eating. To be successful with OMAD, you need to ensure that your single meal will cover your daily calorie and nutrient needs. There's a bunch of resources about it online if you search.

Eat your last meal 48h before the trip - this will give you a chance to empty your bowels before you leave. Every day, make sure you drink enough electrolytes + take multivitamins. On the final day of your trip, it should be safe to have a SMALL meal (do not overdo it, you can hurt yourself by eating too much after a fast) - it should take your body over a full day before you'll need to poop.

How long do you have to prepare? Personally, when I first started doing OMAD, it took me over a month before my body became adjusted to fasting. But now, it just feels completely natural.

Show threadmizuJun 22, 2023
I have only two days to prepare. I'll also have to walk around a lot during those three days so I don't think I'll be able to survive with only one meal.
Show threadBadass_pandaJun 22, 2023

If you need to walk around a lot, it'll be tougher to do it on am empty stomach, but not impossible. You have plenty of energy stores to last 3 days unless you're significantly underweight to start with.

You will not be able to eat your daily allowance of calories for three days and not need to poop during that time. It's just not a thing that's going to happen for you.

If you are determined to eat and not poop, eat protein bars, and take an anti diahrreal (e.g., Imodium). You won't poop, but day 4-5 will be awful.

Show threadRopianosJun 22, 2023

I'm not sure what "walk around a lot" means exactly but I've interpreted it as hiking and I'm fairly certain that you will have a very bad time when hiking for three days without ANY food.

And why do you think that you won't be able to consume enough calories without food? All kinds of drinks should have enough energy to sustain you, e.g. soft drinks, especially if you sweat and therefore drink more than 2l a day. In the worst case you can also just eat sugar.

Show threadpatchw3rkJun 22, 2023
I added your response to https://kbin.com/m/bestof and/or @bestof
Show threadBiaThemisJun 22, 2023
Just a heads up, you are linking the wrong URL. It should be https://kbin.social/m/bestof instead of .com
BestOf the Fediverse - kbin.social

The very best comments on the Fediverse as voted by the users.

Show threadKettlepantsJun 22, 2023
Okay, why don't you need this?
Show threadWhoRogerJun 22, 2023

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

Show threadmizuJun 22, 2023
Thanks. I'll try to find some food like that tomorrow. I have only 3 days to prepare.
Show threadWhoRogerJun 22, 2023

For real, ask on some aviation community or Reddit. You'll find real pilots with very specific experience.

My guess would still be beef jerky, plus it's light and doesn't spoil. Also I'd start asap, so you can still get empty before the "trip" and not have much inside left.

Show threadThe ShaneJun 23, 2023

Reddit?

I'd that like Digg or Tumblr? Doesn't ring a bell...

Show threadJimi_HotsauceJun 23, 2023
Reddit? damn near took it out for a nice dinner!
Show threadvegivampJun 22, 2023
There is something called low-residue diet, often needed before or after certain medical procedures. You might Google information on that.