Nob told me if I wanted to participate, I could. But he didn’t push. I said I might just watch. Daikichi (9) had been gesturing like he’s holding a mikoshi and pointing to me, because he really wanted me to do it with him. Ayumi pushed a little. I was still hesitant, because I’m cautious of participating in culture that doesn’t belong to me.

But it took Moto, Nob’s brother, to take me into the house, and put the hanten on me.

I argued with him for a little bit, saying I want to be aware of the perception that I might be taking something from someone else’s culture.

But he told me that he doesn’t want me to be just a foreigner, because *I live here now* and *I’m a part of their family now*. He said that wearing this hanten signals to others that I’m not just an onlooker, but I’m part of this community now.

That really clicked with me.

Within minutes of wearing it near the mikoshi, other people who live here started to encourage me to carry it too! “Encourage” is a gentle word. I was lightly shoved into place. 😅

And I realized what Moto had said was true. It signaled to others that I’m not just a tourist, I’m part of this community. Having someone push me was a very real moment that helped me feel more that this is my *home*, not just a vacation.

I’m really grateful for all of that.

And for Ayumi for suggesting that we carry it into the main shrine that evening, because not everyone gets the chance to do that! It was genuinely hard work (I may never have sweat more in my life), but I’m glad I did it.