SaraMGJun 12, 2023

Hiring a software engineer in their late 40s:

Pros:
* Understands your stack better than you do after glancing through the repo for five minutes.
* Will rewrite said stack 2x as fast, and half as buggy if you let them.

Cons:
* Gives zero fucks.
* Knows we're not *really* like family here.
* No, seriously, absolutely zero fucks given.

Do not cite the deep magic to me, product manager, I was there when it was written.

Show threadSam J SharpeJun 12, 2023
@saramg are these firm reqs? I'm only in my early to mid 40s.
Show threadSaraMG
@SamJSharpe More like guidelines... ;)
Jun 12, 2023 at 10:50pmWeb
Show threadRussell GarnerJun 13, 2023
@saramg @SamJSharpe early 50s. This was definitely me. Have I mellowed? Have I f—
Show threadJson DohJun 13, 2023
@rgarner @saramg @SamJSharpe
Over 50s - won't rewrite the mentioned stack because truly zero fucks is given. Instead, (pros) no complaints about your coding style.
Show threadSaraMGJun 13, 2023
@jdoe @rgarner @SamJSharpe You're not the first to say this and it gives me hope that there are valuable lessons left to be learned and even fewer fucks to give.
Show threadischrisJun 14, 2023
@saramg @jdoe @rgarner @SamJSharpe you can always give one less fuck.
Show threadRussell GarnerJun 14, 2023
@ischris @saramg @jdoe @SamJSharpe what does negative fucks look like? I've been thinking about it all morning.
Show threadSam J SharpeJun 14, 2023
@rgarner @ischris @saramg @jdoe I don't know, I've never run into negative fucks. I built a service about a decade ago to top them up as needed. https://github.com/samjsharpe/fgaas
GitHub - samjsharpe/fgaas: disclaimer: has some swearing

disclaimer: has some swearing. Contribute to samjsharpe/fgaas development by creating an account on GitHub.

GitHub
Show threadJson DohAug 11, 2025
@SamJSharpe @rgarner @ischris @saramg What's going on? Why am I getting notifications on this years old post? Did one of you try and succeed to give negative number of fucks and inadvertently has opened a portal to a necroposting narnia?
Show threadRussell GarnerAug 11, 2025
@jdoe @SamJSharpe @ischris @saramg I'm afraid I did. I can't move my neck properly any more and I'm haunted by an extremely cynical ghost. Don't give negative fucks, kids, it's not worth it.
Show threadSam J SharpeMar 18

@rgarner @jdoe @ischris @saramg

*bump*

Show threadischrisJun 14, 2023
@rgarner @saramg @jdoe @SamJSharpe
a negative fuck is that which annihilates a positive fuck upon collision. furthermore, as negative fuckage builds, it can draw in an increasing number of fucks given from the surrounding area, thereby negating fucks given by e.g., managers, other devs, or even clients.
Show threadMichael ☕️Jun 18, 2023
@ischris @rgarner @saramg @jdoe @SamJSharpe
Negative fucks are contagious, as they lead to Quiet Quitting, which can spread through any closely-working group.
Show threadJson DohJun 18, 2023
@mcpinson @ischris @rgarner @saramg @SamJSharpe
These are all good conjectures. Would be nice to test them in a controlled setup, in a lab. I wonder what would be the outcome of the fucks annihilation. Would it be pure energy or some other substance? 🤔
Show threadMichael ☕️Jun 18, 2023

@jdoe @ischris @rgarner @saramg @SamJSharpe
Note that Fuck Annihilation (F.A.) energy can only be used to produce busywork, such as tidying the supply closet.

Actual productive work can only be accomplished through the Coffee Cycle.

Show threadSaraMGJun 19, 2023
@mcpinson @jdoe @ischris @rgarner @SamJSharpe Coffee? Ahem. I believe it's spelled T E A #ftfy
Show threadUnixorn - 90% Snark by weightDec 25, 2023

@jdoe @mcpinson @ischris @rgarner @saramg @SamJSharpe

The outcome of a fuck-antifuck collision is usually open head count

Show threadTom Bellin Dec 24, 2023
@ischris @saramg @jdoe @rgarner @SamJSharpe put this on a mug
Show threadChris [list of emoji]Jun 14, 2023

@jdoe @rgarner @saramg @SamJSharpe

Over 50 - I'll incrementally refactor your stack into something elegant, maintainable, and fast. But only because that's fun. And I'll get fired^Wlaid off because my manager doesn't see the value in that and just wants the current fix done, even if it takes longer to fix the current shitty codebase than to refactor it first so that the fix itself is trivial.

Show threadJson DohJun 14, 2023

I like your enthusiasm, @suetanvil :)

@rgarner @saramg @SamJSharpe