MeroviusMay 23, 2023

PSA, if someone asks you for contact info (e.g. a phone number) of someone you know, the correct response is "I can't give that to you, but I can give them yours".

It's efficient and adds no round-trips, it's privacy friendly, it's non-awkward and it's social engineering resistant. It's a universally good rule.

And the corollary, of course: Don't ask someone for another person's contact info - ask them to pass on yours.

Show threadMerovius
It's frustrating that not everyone knows and does this. Like, even in my peer group, where I'd expect baseline awareness of privacy issues, a friend recently gave my number to another friend without asking.
May 23, 2023 at 7:59pmWeb
Show threadOlavMay 24, 2023
@Merovius yeah, I've had to politely decline and offer to pass messages in the past: I know you know each other but that's not a reason.
Besides, I'm not sure how up-to-date my contact list is now, but my address list is sacred and I'd only divulge if I thought someone were in danger of harming themselves. Our holiday card list is upwards of 170 people, some.of.which would put their families at risk
Show threadMiausitzbeauftragte Aada May 24, 2023
@Merovius I generally tend to ask the person who they are trying to contact if they are fine with me passing on their info, but this way is also interesting as it needs less back and forth communication.
Show threadMeroviusMay 24, 2023

@ada Yupp. I don't have a problem with that policy. I find the "pass on the asker's info" option preferable myself, though.

I advocate for it, because I feel it's lesser known and I think sometimes people give out info just for convenience because they don't want the extra hassle. So I want them to be aware of a hassle-free, privacy-friendly option.

Show threadMiausitzbeauftragte Aada May 24, 2023
@Merovius I think I will just move to the thing you do because it requires less work and less remembering things from me which is quite valuable.
Show threadGuy on the runJun 9, 2023

@Merovius @ada "I advocate for it, because I feel it's lesser known..."

Thanks for rediscovering this simple courtesy.

I do blame the widespread appeal of the mobile telephone for this. Years ago, you didn't carry ALL of your contacts with you, so you had to take the info and pass it on later.

Show threadeuroplus May 24, 2023
@Merovius ouch.
Show threadlike jam or bootlacesMay 24, 2023

@Merovius

were this better established and respected, "Give ThisApplication access to Contacts" would never have gotten off the ground.

Yet here we are, where it's industrialized, personal data strip-mining, matter-of-course.