abadideaI had completely forgotten about this ten year old video making fun of Java but it's solid gold https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3418SeWZfQ
HTTP 1.1/418 Old Teapot Typewriter Font@0xabad1dea Oh that's fabulous. I missed that back at the time. Thanks!
I had guessed it might be the excellent "let's talk about languages that suck" "Wat" lightning talk (https://www.destroyallsoftware.com/talks/wat ) but that was javascript, not java.