Because I failed to feed the cat on his preferred breakfast schedule, he has retreated beneath the bed to sulk, ignoring the food I subsequently offered, which will sit uneaten until he deems it lunchtime, at which point he will emerge to sniff at it and deem it insufficiently fresh.

Then he will get in my face all Pity Kitty and howl because I am a vile and despicable starver of cats.

What a manipulative asshole. Good thing he’s cute.