Thank you for contacting the abyss.
Your scream is very important to us.

@ebel

the abyss is experiencing a higher than usual call volume, and will gaze back into you in the order your scream was received

@ebel
10 out of 10
excellent service
now I'm in complete despair
@ebel Oh, you heard me then?
@ebel "We are experiencing higher than average scream volume"
@ebel The abyss has no more in-person appointments left today. Please call back tomorrow.
@ebel Strange, I guess I *was* heard…
@ebel Thank you so much. I really need this today, at precisely this time.
@ebel 🤣🤣🤣

@ebel

"As a people-facing Abyss, please be assured that if you stare into Us, We will look back at you."

@ebel this right here is why I love Mastodon
@ebel Your scream may be recorded for quality purposes.

@ebel Here, have a listen to the Sales Call Abyss (it gets REALLY good about 2 minutes in) …

https://soundcloud.com/user-237714155/sales-call-abyss

Sales call Abyss

This is the place we send annoying people, sales calls, etc. Enjoy!

SoundCloud
@cstross @ebel
Your scream (is/is still) very important to us.
@ebel To stare into - dial 1. To be stared back at - dial 2. To contact operator - press and hold infinity sign for all eternity.
@ebel please stay on the line for a short survey. your existential horror is important us
gws (@[email protected])

All abyss operators are currently assisting other observers; please continue gazing and your stare will be returned also, in the order it was received.

Chinwag Social