I've seen a lot of crap being put about on the idea of parents' rights. I want to reject this idea outright.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PARENTS' RIGHTS.

Parents do not have "rights" over their children. The children have rights; the parents have responsibilities to see that those rights are upheld.

In order for the parents to have rights, then necessarily the child does not have them. The only situation in which we have allowed one human to usurp another's rights was slavery; and I would argue children are not property.

If they're not property, then they're people, and if they're people, then they have rights. If they have rights, parents can't.

This is such a crucial distinction. The parents don't have a right to have their child educated; the child has a right to a good education. The parents don't have the right to participate in sport; the child does. And so on.

Once you reframe the idea like this, that children are human beings with their own rights, you see what a disingenous line of attack this is from the right wing.

Parents have an awesome responsibility: the care and management of the human rights of beings not able to assert them for themselves. But it must be clear that the rights belong to the children, and that they are being safeguarded, not owned, by the parents.

This simple conceptual shift shows that children should have full bodily autonomy, including their right to assert consent to being touched by anyone (think touch sensitivity), and including the right to present as the gender they want. The right to religion, or freedom from it if they want. The rights are theirs, and the parents should have no power to abrogate those rights without due care and consideration.

Yes, by the way, I am a parent, as well as a grandparent. I stand by this. My kids are not my property, never were.

@oldladyplays this is making me think of the powerful piece by Wil Wheaton the other day about his experiences as a child, did you read it?

@oldladyplays

It’s notable that “parent’s rights” is almost never deployed in terms of _right to parent_. There’s a long history of work, by Black, Indigenous and disabled feminists alongside lesbian feminists, on the right to parent as the ignored flip side of reproductive rights. Sometimes those rights are talked about in terms of the child (the child has the right to know their own culture, for instance), but I think it is actually

@oldladyplays important to spell out that there is a long history of certain people’s right to parent being taken away because of a belief that is better for the child to be away from “bad” parents, or better for society that certain people not have children at all.

The current parents’ rights crowd are almost universally UNinterested in the right to parent, unless it’s to oppose cps intervention into white xn homes or dept of education

@oldladyplays oversight of homeschooling.

I think everyone involved in either policy or the ethics of “rights” agrees that the child’s right to safety is preeminent over the right to parent.

But when we’re looking at queer kids removed from affirming cis parents, and trans people’s ability to parent is increasingly constrained (eg by bathroom laws), it is worth keeping in mind the long tradition of feminist thought on the right to parent.

@oldladyplays My daily beating of a dead horse here, but the idea of parental rights is the refuge of christo-fascists.
@oldladyplays Thanks, Cait! I've been thinking a lot lately along those lines and you articulated it very well. 

@oldladyplays The only thing I would add is that it's legally necessary to give parents certain default legal authority so that they can carry out their role in protecting and caring for their kids. They need the ability, for instance, to make medical decisions on behalf of their kid. However, the moment the parents become the abusers and are regularly violating the rights of the child, that legal authority can and should pass to someone else.

This is important to raise IMO, because that's where the GOP and their cronies seem to be intentionally confused. Yes, the parents do need the ability to override social defaults so they can navigate systems on behalf of the child when social defaults would hurt them. Pulling the kid out of a school where they're getting bullied, for instance. However, these are not rights of the parent over their child's education, they are a legal ability given to the parent so they can protect the child's right to a harassment-free education.

@faithisleaping @oldladyplays Honestly you could probably do this by simply letting the kid override the parent.

If the kid can't make decisions (e.g. is a 2-year-old, is incapacitated), then the parent can speak for them, but if the kid can speak for themself, then they can speak for themself.

@faithisleaping @oldladyplays ...though good luck navigating things like vaccines and explaining that even though the shot hurts like hell, it's still important...
@Ylfingr @faithisleaping @oldladyplays Just give kids /normal/ shots instead of those dang muscle shots that hurt like the dickens. Flu/covid vaccines aren't bad at all!
@oldladyplays
Parents are the responsible guardian of children. They are only there to safeguard the child until they reach legal adulthood. That is it. That is all. A parent has a responsibility and duty of care. If parents had "rights" then the concept of in parental locus has no meaning — in fact it proves our point right. In parental locus means that a teacher or caretaker has the same *responsibility* of care as a parent.
@oldladyplays
Best toot I've read all day

@oldladyplays louder for the people in the back!

And yes, parents also really need to figure out that their children have bodily autonomy, including to refuse touch *by them*.

@oldladyplays I made a similar point in this article https://c4ss.org/content/56704

"Parents, such as myself, have rights as persons but, with respect to our children, we have duties instead [...] One of our duties is to protect the rights of our children and the first step in protecting rights is to not violate them yourself."

Enabling Child Abuse in Florida

“Children do not constitute anyone’s property: they are neither the property of the parents nor even the society. They belong only to their own future freedom.” -Bakunin As part of the recent wave of legislation targeting LGBTQIA people, especially trans minors, Florida passed a law advertised by its proponents as protection for parental rights, HB...

Center for a Stateless Society
@thomasjwebb @oldladyplays

I notice that the United States is the only qualifying nation that has not yet ratified the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The usual suspects seem to bear the blame, though there has been significant foot-dragging on all sides.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convention_on_the_Rights_of_the_Child
Convention on the Rights of the Child - Wikipedia

@oldladyplays whats next, "politicians rights"?
@oldladyplays i tautoko (support) this fully. I say the same kind of thing in my essay in the book, 'Trust Kids'. Parenting isn't transactional, my kids owe me nothing for having been parented by me. I don't own them. They are people, their own people, no-one gets to stomp on that fact, and no parent should want to either.
@oldladyplays well put, I feel exactly the same way. As a parent, I respect my kids' rights and encourage them to grow into the type of person that they want to be.

@oldladyplays You are quite correct. However, by definition, by moving all rights to the child, the child becomes a burden and the enslavement of the parent. All of a sudden, the parent has non-dismissable obligations to the rights of the child. And by doing so, the parent is now the slave, the property, the dismissable entity in the formula.

Both have rights - rights of their own - and they may be mutually inclusive - OR - mutually exclusive.

@oldladyplays ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

@oldladyplays can you clarify this bit?

> This simple conceptual shift shows that children should have full bodily autonomy, including consent to touch from anyone

@oldladyplays This is an effing perfect framing. Thank you for sharing.
@oldladyplays much of it is being pushed by fundamentalist Christians, who consider their children something akin to property.
Attention, Conservative Parents: Your Kids Aren’t Your Property

Parents angered by critical race theory, mask mandates and lessons on LGBTQ equality believe their kids are their property, to be controlled and "protected" from ideas they disagree with. This is wrong on multiple levels.

Medium
@oldladyplays sadly a lot of laws don't recognize the childs rights to be above their parents' authority.
@kkarhan @oldladyplays Many legal systems seem to worship authority at all cost including when it's counterproductive & harmful.