Princess of Whales 

Today when I was crossing the school grounds to go to work, there was a kindergartener standing on the playground right where he was supposed to be lining up, except that he had gotten on the playground a little earlier than he was supposed to - all alone on the playground and he’s sobbing silently, and I’m trying to figure out what’s going on and he finally sobs out “I don’t know why I’m here!”

Turns out that he simply hadn’t worked out that it would be okay if he just turned around and went back to the gate where all the other kids were. Once I suggested that we walk back over there, he was perfectly happy.

Apr 21, 2023 at 10:17pmWeb
Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 21, 2023
I have no patience for adults who think kids have it easy
Show threadAllen StenhausApr 21, 2023
@princesaballena Nearly every difficult challenge is the hardest thing they've ever encountered. Many often forget that.
Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 21, 2023
@allenstenhaus oh my goodness, what a clear and helpful way of putting it!
Show threadStrange TimApr 21, 2023
@princesaballena One of the most important things I learned, when I was training to be a foster parent, was that when you think about it, and a child is acting like they are having the worst day they've ever had, they honestly probably are. Deal with the situation with compassion and empathy as they develop a sense of scale and context.
Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023
@geekyonion yes! This! It really doesn’t cost much to take a child’s feelings seriously
Show threadStrange TimApr 22, 2023
@princesaballena This was one of the two things that changed my view of interacting with kids. The other was learning the question, "is your body hurt, or are your feelings hurt?" It seems simple, but in the middle of drama, just slowing things down to solve the right problem can be a game changer. I do that for work, and never thought to do it at home.
Show threadQueen Of CoffeeApr 22, 2023

@princesaballena I concur. My kids' lives seem way more complex than mine was at their ages. IMO, They have more expected of them, but have way less independence. They're expected to learn more and participate in more organized activities, but are less exposed to real life decision making situations sans adults telling them what to do.

It makes me worry because common sense is learned through experience. I try to give each of my kids the space they need to make decisions and occasionally fall flat on their faces. I try to encourage critical thinking even if the conclusions they draw seem silly.

And now, with some states limiting curriculum and teaching history selectively it worries me we're creating kids who will grown into careless adults who never learn to think outside the box.

Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023

@QueenOfCoffee all of this! I constantly run into the wall at school of “but they’re capable of doing it” yes five year olds are capable of a lot of things, but does that mean they should have to do them all the time?

Another pet peeve - these kids are told that they have to make good choices, but they are also told that they are not allowed to determine if they are too hot to wear a coat. Like if there is one thing you could reasonably build on, it’s the idea that if you are too hot outside to wear a coat, you should be allowed to take your coat off!

Show threadDan Kloke Apr 22, 2023

@princesaballena

I remember how quickly and deftly adults could change from one mood to another, from one topic to something completely different. For me in my tiny body, it could take a whole minute to wind down from excitement to calm, or to just stop crying. I wasn't intellectually distressed any more, but the hyperventilation made me keep drawing deep ragged breaths past the snot in my nose and the phlegm in my throat. Hard to calm down! A minute, please! Just... just wait... *pant pant* okay... getting there... yes okay I'm good now, yes, peekaboo!, haha! *very* funny! and now what, the plane? the fork with the food is the plane again? don't you know how hard it is to laugh and chew at the same time? I don't have the capacity for both at once!

Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023
@dkloke this is actually scientifically understood now - with your brain and body cooling off at different speeds!
Show threadNick 'The Viking'Apr 22, 2023

@princesaballena

Sometimes things aren't as complicated as they seem, and a little perspective is all you need.

Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023
@nlarson830 so true!
Show threadNick 'The Viking'Apr 22, 2023

@princesaballena

It's not my place really to complain but dammit because there's hopelessly deplorable people, I cannot do that.

It's frustrating.
Sorry.

Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023
@nlarson830 you didn’t say anything to apologize for!
Show threadBrosephine WiresApr 22, 2023

@princesaballena awwwwwww how do you not fall to pieces and cry and snuggle kids to death on a regular basis — because *I* don’t get it.

I guess maybe prison really is a deterrent. 🤔

Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023
@JoParkerBear 😂😂😂 I will say that I do get enough hugs to keep me going!
Show threadM GrisbiApr 22, 2023
@princesaballena 30 years later and I'm still saying the same words and sobbing the same sobs as I log in at the office.
Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023
@incandescental that’s the echoing poetry and tragedy of it all!
Show threadEarlApr 22, 2023
@princesaballena Thank you for your thoughtful kindness!
Show threadTony PenninoApr 22, 2023
@princesaballena “I don’t know why I’m here” is what I cry every time I walk into a meeting.
Show threadPrincess of Whales Apr 22, 2023
@beatnikprof i mean it was just too relatable!
Show threadJKrotkovMay 15, 2023

@princesaballena

gawd, I wish you were around during my teen years.