Moa Ledin

#lgbtq
I have a question for #Trans people.

If there is a cis person who doesn't want to date a trans person, but their reason is because they think it would be a waste of time for the trans person and want them to find someone better than them, what would you think of them?

Details: They support pro trans laws, want trans people to be their authentic selves and think they don't deserve any trans people's love.

I hope this makes some sense atleast. 😅

Apr 15, 2023 at 11:46amWeb
Show threadAdaApr 15, 2023
@moatistic If they have any sort of generalised perspective or view on trans people, they probably need to spend time examining it, whatever that belief happens to be... Generalising an entire group of people is never a good thing
Show threadThat Frisian Girl-ishApr 15, 2023
@moatistic That person should have a real good look at their inferiority complex, and why this applies specifically to trans people.
Show threadPollikApr 15, 2023
@moatistic There is not nearly enough information here for me to make the judgement call. Relationships are hellish complicated and highly nuanced.
Show threadMoa LedinApr 22, 2023
@Pollik Understandable. This question just popped up in my mind back then. Thank you for answering though.
Show threadLApr 15, 2023

@moatistic I think the cis person should take some time to reflect on why they think they "don't deserve any trans people's love."

Trans people are people. They're not better or worse than cis people. Maybe the cis person doesn't realize that yet.

Perhaps because of fetishization, they think trans people are inherently superior to them.
This could also be linked to low self-esteem.

Show threadKaity AApr 15, 2023
@moatistic

I suspect that they don't know how to verbalise their feelings, because while they support trans people, they've been taught that thought of having sex with one of us is not something they're supposed to want and they probably don't know how to resolve this conflict in their feelings.

For a lot of people they conflate gender identity, gender expression, romantic love, platonic love, attraction and sexual desire all into one box and then heteronormativity comes in and tapes up the box and wraps it in a big label that says "you're cis-het, here's how you need to act and who you need to like".

Being transgender, we get to rip that label off and see what's really inside the box if we want to look.

We get to find out things about ourselves and deeply understand what kinds of bodies we like looking at, which ones we want to be with, what people we can form relationships with and the greyscale of depth of relationships we can have.

We get the opportunity to unscramble all that stuff and try to understand ourselves minus the lens of heteronormativity.

A lot of cis people have just left the box sealed up and aren't able to navigate their complex feelings.