We are releasing the well-poisoning machine, because if we don't do it first, someone else with even worse morals might do it faster.

By being the first people to poison the well, we can know exactly what kind of toxins will be in the water such that we understand the symptoms when we inevitably make the whole village sick from it.

Of course this has prompted our competitors to fire their ethics people and also poison the well even faster, but such is the inevitable march of progress!

@mononcqc I think that the mere strong possibility that releasing this unknown substance into all the wells at once should at some future point be revealed to have killed millions should not delay business today.
There is no proof that preventive measures are really necessary though, those should not be funded.
@larsmb @mononcqc whom are you guys parodying?