Yoko's Asterisk 🏳️⚧The eight most wonderful words you can say on the internet:
" I don't know enough to have an opinion."
Frances_Larina 🏳️⚧️Love ya' but I was just fed those words today by someone who could be an ally but doesn't want to risk their neck or potentially burn any privilege. Then they said the issue of Republicans targeting trans teens was "too complicated".
@Frances_Larina In a case like that, I would trust the marginalized people who are involved.
When it comes to other kinds of marginalizations, I often don't know enough myself, but then I listen to the people who are affected directly. It's not that hard.
I wouldn't tell a Black person I know more about anti-Black racism than they do.
@Frances_Larina To bring this home, I'm not really interested in having a cis person lecture me about trans rights.
I'd way rather they say, "I don't know as much as you do, so please share your perspective and I'll support you."
I wish they would say that, as well. But that was my original point, that sometimes they use,
"I don't know enough to have an opinion," as a way of really saying,
"I disagree but realize that would make me seem like a bad person. So I'm going to use this as a coded response instead, to show my disapproval"
Str8nger@Frances_Larina @charliejane No offense but, Is it possible that you are projecting & so defensive that your knee jerk reaction is to be offended, no matter what anyone says?
That's *always* possible, especially for me. Which is why I try to be careful. But in the instance I was referring to, I've known the person my entire life. They are a strict, conservative, Republican-voting Christian. They were also very aware that going on an anti-trans rant would not be socially appropriate.
I didn't mean to do something wrong by stating my objection, and I apologize. I'd like to bow out of this convo if I may, now? I'm a fan of @charliejane, but obviously I've committed a faux pas by being negative. I am sorry for doing so.
@Frances_Larina @charliejane Thank you for sharing/explaining… no need to be sorry. Respectful dialogue & exchange is exactly what we need more of! ✌️
Claire@Frances_Larina @Str8nger @charliejane
You are very respectful and sometimes we don't always know how our words will be interpreted without knowingly wanting to offend.
You are very respectful and sometimes we don't always know how our words will be interpreted without knowingly wanting to offend.
CautionWIP 🎃+🇨🇦+🏳️🌈= 
@Frances_Larina @charliejane That’s a really important exception. It’s frequently used as a cop out by faux-libs/Allie’s and closeted bigots to handwave any responsibility. In those cases, it’s pretty easy to see that if they actually gave a fuck, they’d have long ago read up on the matter sufficiently to form an opinion about it. I agree with Charlie Jane, it’s nice to hear, but it can easily be twisted to cover up a lack of actual care or interest in serious issues.🤷🏽
Oh, I didn't think it was at all, "nice to hear" in that context! I think I probably just didn't word my comment very precisely. My apologies to both of you!
@Frances_Larina @charliejane I don’t think you have anything to apologize for, though I can’t speak for Charlie Jane. (🤗 if appropriate ) It’s a perfectly valid take and particularly understandable in your own situation of just having seen it used so awfully, personally, and recently. Also, I’m sorry you had to experience that. Some people just suck.
@cautionwip @Frances_Larina I think "everybody should have to have an opinion on all topics" would be a horrible rule. I don't have opinions about sports because I don't follow sports.
On the small number of issues where people's lives are at stake, I try to educate myself, but also to listen to people who have direct experience, or who belong to the marginalized communities affected.
I don't think we're actually disagreeing here.
@charliejane @Frances_Larina Ratified, on both points. As far as I read it, Frances (or is it Larena? Apologies if I’m getting it wrong) was noting a very specific application of that statement and its abuse by those who claim to be progressive and potential allies, which is a valid elaboration on your OP and I didn’t see it as a denial, but rather an addition.
@cautionwip @Frances_Larina Yeah, that makes sense.
And honestly, any statement can be used in bad faith and weaponized by evil people to support inaction or wrong action.
@charliejane @cautionwip @Frances_Larina it’s ironic that even your common sense, well-intentioned & non-controversial statement was met with, but that too *could be a bad faith transgression… 🤦🏻♀️
Oh, good. Thank you.