MY BRAIN: We have an appointment later

ME: Okay, I'd like to be productive this morning

MY BRAIN: We'd prefer to wait for the appointment

ME: But I wanted to be productive-

MY BRAIN: Too bad, we are busy waiting for the appointment

@roxiqt

Brain: Grocery delivery alert!

Me: dude, that's five hours away.

Brain: Must be on alert for every single "item unavailable" ping! Alert alert alert!

Me: <assorted expletives>