JoshMar 6, 2023
Had a pretty telling encounter on a walk around the neighborhood. Background: I am a 6’1” tall white dude with a body that is imperfect but still denotes an active weightlifting routine. I went for a walk with sunglasses and a podcast. On the walk, a woman came walking/jogging into my field of view from a nearby neighborhood and turned to continue in parallel with me across the street. Then crossed the street to my side and continued jogging/walking ahead of me. 1/
Show threadJoshMar 6, 2023

Being ahead of me, the jogging lady came to a 4-way intersection first, turned left, and continued on. As I came up to the same intersection, intending to also turn left, a lady in a car pulled up with her window rolled down.

Lady: “Is that your daughter?”

Me (somewhat bewildered): “No, ma’am…?”

Lady: “Oh, ok. I was just worried about her walking alone. Sorry.”

I didn’t 100% know what to say or do, so I just said “No, it’s ok!” and continued walking.

Show threadJoshMar 6, 2023

There were two implications to her question:

1. I apparently look like a dad, which I guess means I look old enough to be a dad of a fully grown woman. 🫠
2. Women out driving feel, for very real and well documented reasons, feel compelled to notice other women out walking in line of sight of 6’1” semi-muscular white dudes.

#1 is just me being a vain gay, but #2 is a pretty damning example of current perceptions of white men. ☹️

Be better, white men. Be fucking better! 😠

#BeBetter #Men

Show threadJoy Denebeim

@joshwithouthats I had a similar experience around 35 years ago. I was walking out at night in a strange city, and I managed to get lost.

A woman crossed the street away from me a 5'6" 225 lb nerdy guy. I yelled across the street, this was pre cell phone, she just ran. Only time I've ever scared a woman. Anyway it took me about an hour to find my hotel, but the whole thing bothered the heck out of me.

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:43pmWeb
Show threadJoy DenebeimMar 6, 2023

@joshwithouthats interestingly enough this was also the convention I met my first trans person which started my journey to where I am today.

Now I understand how that woman felt it's different when there's no longer the assumption you can defend yourself. Although I'm not a lot weaker than I was when I had testosterone. The assumption is what makes the difference.