JoshMar 6, 2023
Had a pretty telling encounter on a walk around the neighborhood. Background: I am a 6’1” tall white dude with a body that is imperfect but still denotes an active weightlifting routine. I went for a walk with sunglasses and a podcast. On the walk, a woman came walking/jogging into my field of view from a nearby neighborhood and turned to continue in parallel with me across the street. Then crossed the street to my side and continued jogging/walking ahead of me. 1/
Show threadJoshMar 6, 2023

Being ahead of me, the jogging lady came to a 4-way intersection first, turned left, and continued on. As I came up to the same intersection, intending to also turn left, a lady in a car pulled up with her window rolled down.

Lady: “Is that your daughter?”

Me (somewhat bewildered): “No, ma’am…?”

Lady: “Oh, ok. I was just worried about her walking alone. Sorry.”

I didn’t 100% know what to say or do, so I just said “No, it’s ok!” and continued walking.

Show threadJosh

There were two implications to her question:

1. I apparently look like a dad, which I guess means I look old enough to be a dad of a fully grown woman. 🫠
2. Women out driving feel, for very real and well documented reasons, feel compelled to notice other women out walking in line of sight of 6’1” semi-muscular white dudes.

#1 is just me being a vain gay, but #2 is a pretty damning example of current perceptions of white men. ☹️

Be better, white men. Be fucking better! 😠

#BeBetter #Men

Mar 6, 2023 at 6:12pmWeb
Show threadOrneryMar 6, 2023
@joshwithouthats implication 3: the jogger was being followed by the woman in the car
Show threadJoshMar 6, 2023
@Ornery She wasn’t. I had considered that and kept an eye out to see if the car lady re-appeared, and she didn’t. And walker lady apparently lived on that street we both turned down, because she concluded her walk by entering one of the houses there.
Show threadOrneryMar 6, 2023
@joshwithouthats thanks for keeping an eye out and considering that. I'm about your same size and something similar happened. In my case, it was for protection. Tip of the cap on your original message, too.
Show threadJoy DenebeimMar 6, 2023

@joshwithouthats I had a similar experience around 35 years ago. I was walking out at night in a strange city, and I managed to get lost.

A woman crossed the street away from me a 5'6" 225 lb nerdy guy. I yelled across the street, this was pre cell phone, she just ran. Only time I've ever scared a woman. Anyway it took me about an hour to find my hotel, but the whole thing bothered the heck out of me.

Show threadJoy DenebeimMar 6, 2023

@joshwithouthats interestingly enough this was also the convention I met my first trans person which started my journey to where I am today.

Now I understand how that woman felt it's different when there's no longer the assumption you can defend yourself. Although I'm not a lot weaker than I was when I had testosterone. The assumption is what makes the difference.