EVHaste

How do you determine who “wins” on a date?
Wrong answers only.

I’ll start:

* When they roll over and show you their belly
* When they explode in a shower of coins
* When you return the U-haul keys (that’s a tie)
* Civil disobedience arrest speedrun
* Cat talent show with confused bystander judges
* Longest Wikipedia page “controversy” section

#lgbtq #dating #shitpost

Mar 4, 2023 at 3:59amMastodon for iOS
Show threadIzzy Prime Mar 4, 2023
@Haste I disagree on the point about the uhaul truck. The winner is the person that doesn’t pay for the truck.
Show threadEVHasteMar 4, 2023

@NineIsntPrime Ah shoot, we’re going to need a referee. Hold on, let me get the rule book…

Okay so it turns out there’s a decision tree based on who paid for the u haul vs who moves in with who

This could take a while

Show threadamy "fembot" bonesMar 4, 2023

@Haste When they turn into a raccoon and steal every last piece of bread from the restaurant.*

*May be based on a true story.

Show threadEVHasteMar 4, 2023
@amybones wait hold on come back you can’t just leave that hanging, what’s the story
Show threadHuckMar 5, 2023
@Haste
Whoever gets their meal meal paid for 😆