We DNA tested our dog and it turns out he killed a guy in Toledo in ‘79
@lolennui That dude had it coming.
@lolennui Found out the bi7ch across the street that’s been sniffing around so much is actually my pups mom! Who knew? This DNA testing is raising all sorts of moral questions.
@lolennui Ours shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Now, whenever he hears a whistle blowin', he hangs his head and cries.

@lolennui

Forty years ago?

That’s… 308 in dog years.

So… your dog must have access to… time travel?

YOUR HOMICIDAL DOG IS A TIME TRAVELER?!?

@lolennui Actually that sounds really fun, I’d watch that movie, call it DOG YEARS.
@lolennui Damn! Your dog is old!! Literally lol’d, thanks for that!! #liveonkiller
@lolennui Yeah, I can verify that. South Toledo, specifically the ACME district, on the 800 Block of Geneva Ave. A year later to the day of the blizzard of 78. If you look closely you can still make out the remnants of the blood stain on the sidewalk. We used to lay fresh flower in memory of the dude every month, but that dwindle to nothing over the years. What a day that was. In my mind, it will live in infamy. Take care people, and leash your canines. Later daze.
@lolennui no wonder Lenny didn’t wanna take one lol
@lolennui I just know your dog is innocence.

@lolennui

Yeah but only one, so…

@lolennui Now do harboring a fugitive. 😆
@lolennui and he has a half sister in Anchorage

@lolennui he had it comin' though.

Turns out that was the man who shot his paw...

@lolennui That was a past life. It's a real defense like temporary insanity.