CamFeb 27, 2023

New #logline for my #pilot Fill Count. What do you think?

In a desperate bid for one last shot at baseball glory, an aging slugger teams up with a vampire whose allegiance to his own kind is threatened, as they both risk everything to boost the slugger's performance on the field

Show threadJoan AlbrightFeb 27, 2023
@cam "Risk everything" is kind of vague.
Show threadCam

@Lironah Any better?

An aging baseball slugger risks his legacy by forming a dangerous alliance with a rogue vampire, who offers him a way to boost his performance in exchange for procuring human prey, but both risk death if caught.

Feb 27, 2023 at 6:03pmWeb
Show threadJoan AlbrightFeb 27, 2023
@cam Much. But I don't think you need the last clause. :) "Rogue" vampire does enough, and we can infer the penalty for the other guy from the context now.