now, what I’m about to tell you is not advice. I am not an expert. I’m a 47 year old man who is really into Legos and Judas Priest.

Also, none of the things I’m about to tell you are a substitute for some good old fashioned American prescription drugs, and/or therapy.

If you’re sad as fuck all the time, that’s a medical condition, and if you have a doctor, go talk to them. I’m not trying to tell you to just take some turmeric and do yoga. Fuck that shit. Drugs, my dude. Get them

Some more context: I am also a T2 diabetic. I haven’t been great about managing my blood sugar. Ever since my dog was diagnosed with cancer in August, I’ve been pretty much eating like it’s my birthday all the time. Rookie mistake number one.

When your blood sugar is all over the place, so are your emotions. That one’s free. Go ahead and slap it on a t-shirt or a baseball cap if you want.

But also, it becomes a lot harder to manage your diet when you’re a sad bastard. So I started working on little changes.

I hate eating breakfast. Love breakfast food, hate eating in the morning. It’s bullshit. I also love coffee. So coffee, on an empty stomach, w unregulated blood sugar, for months = sad brain.

So I tried something new: morning smoothies. I make myself take 15 minutes in the morning to make one. You can sip on it all day, and even throw a little cold brew coffee in

Another key to managing depression is keep shit simple. When you make it complicated, it gets overwhelming, you say “fuck it”, & start eating whipped cream out of the can. Don’t be that guy.

Cup of plain Greek yogurt, cup of ultra filtered milk (lower lactose. That’s for my diabetic baddies; everyone else can probably use regular milk). Half a cup of frozen blueberries. Scoop of chocolate protein powder. A fuckload of frozen spinach (you don’t taste it). Blend it.

Also in the mornings: I take my depression and diabetes meds (thanks Big Pharma. Love you, mean it) along with a big honkin dose of vitamins D3 and B5.

Now this starts to get into “wellness” territory. I am a firm believer that most “wellness” is horseshit pushed by thin white people to sell you things and to make themselves feel superior to you. So take this with a grain of salt.

D3 supposedly helps with depression, B5 supposedly helps reduce cortisol production.

I set reminders on my phone for every 3-4 hours to remind me to eat. Smoothie at 7, snack at 10, lunch at 1, dinner at 5, snack at 8. Do I stick to this? Hell no, I’m a sad boi. But I mostly stick to it, and it helps.

I keep easy, low carb snacks around at all times. Without the snacks, you get hungry and overeat at meal times and the ol’ blood glucose goes bananas. Don’t be that guy. Keep it simple. Eat snacks.

Try not to eat after 8-ish.

Meals: I started following the diabetes plate method. Back when I used to lift weights, I did strict portion control and meal prep and all that shit but that doesn’t work when you’re a sad bitch. Again, keep it simple.

I keep easy-to-make staples around all the time. Frozen turkey burgers, microwaveable potatoes, and a shitload of frozen broccoli, cauliflower, green beans. I cook most of it in an air fryer. Arrange it on a 9” plate like this.

Let me stop here to tell you two very important things. One: you’re gonna fuck up. No big deal. Make sure you have Emergency Treats. This is critical.

I always keep a bag of Milano cookies or those little chocolate donuts in the house at all times. Once in a while, your brain is determined to sabotage your shit and when you don’t have Emergency Treats, you risk driving yourself to the store and binging on something terrible.

More about Emergency Treats:

The goal is to have just 1 or 2, not the entire bag. If you’re mostly on point with your other meals, you won’t get the urge to fuck up much. But it will happen. Be ready for it so that you can control it.

Also, don’t keep the Emergency Treats in an easily visible or accessible place. Put them on a high shelf or something. I keep mine in the crisper drawer in my fridge. 1.) I never look there 2.) a cold donut really makes you stop and think about what you’re doing

And before you say: hey Tex if you’re diabetic, should you really be eating donuts? Let me say to you:

- the Emergency Treats tip was given to me by a diabetic power lifter/personal trainer

- that bag of little donuts lasts me for months, because 1.) I keep them cold which feels weird as shit when you eat one and 2.) I’m usually not thinking about them

- I got something you can eat right here