Up until a few weeks ago, I was suffering from the worst depression I’ve ever experienced.
For context: forced out of a job I’d had for 10 years. Cost of living was forcing me out of the city I lived in. Most of my friends had already left, so I was incredibly lonely. In September, my 14 y/o dog passed away. And then living through this pandemic is like a depression multiplier.
The last 6 months were an incredibly dark time for me, but I’ve turned a corner.
Let’s get into it:
now, what I’m about to tell you is not advice. I am not an expert. I’m a 47 year old man who is really into Legos and Judas Priest.
Also, none of the things I’m about to tell you are a substitute for some good old fashioned American prescription drugs, and/or therapy.
If you’re sad as fuck all the time, that’s a medical condition, and if you have a doctor, go talk to them. I’m not trying to tell you to just take some turmeric and do yoga. Fuck that shit. Drugs, my dude. Get them
Some more context: I am also a T2 diabetic. I haven’t been great about managing my blood sugar. Ever since my dog was diagnosed with cancer in August, I’ve been pretty much eating like it’s my birthday all the time. Rookie mistake number one.
When your blood sugar is all over the place, so are your emotions. That one’s free. Go ahead and slap it on a t-shirt or a baseball cap if you want.
But also, it becomes a lot harder to manage your diet when you’re a sad bastard. So I started working on little changes.
I hate eating breakfast. Love breakfast food, hate eating in the morning. It’s bullshit. I also love coffee. So coffee, on an empty stomach, w unregulated blood sugar, for months = sad brain.
So I tried something new: morning smoothies. I make myself take 15 minutes in the morning to make one. You can sip on it all day, and even throw a little cold brew coffee in
Another key to managing depression is keep shit simple. When you make it complicated, it gets overwhelming, you say “fuck it”, & start eating whipped cream out of the can. Don’t be that guy.
Cup of plain Greek yogurt, cup of ultra filtered milk (lower lactose. That’s for my diabetic baddies; everyone else can probably use regular milk). Half a cup of frozen blueberries. Scoop of chocolate protein powder. A fuckload of frozen spinach (you don’t taste it). Blend it.
Also in the mornings: I take my depression and diabetes meds (thanks Big Pharma. Love you, mean it) along with a big honkin dose of vitamins D3 and B5.
Now this starts to get into “wellness” territory. I am a firm believer that most “wellness” is horseshit pushed by thin white people to sell you things and to make themselves feel superior to you. So take this with a grain of salt.
D3 supposedly helps with depression, B5 supposedly helps reduce cortisol production.
I set reminders on my phone for every 3-4 hours to remind me to eat. Smoothie at 7, snack at 10, lunch at 1, dinner at 5, snack at 8. Do I stick to this? Hell no, I’m a sad boi. But I mostly stick to it, and it helps.
I keep easy, low carb snacks around at all times. Without the snacks, you get hungry and overeat at meal times and the ol’ blood glucose goes bananas. Don’t be that guy. Keep it simple. Eat snacks.
Try not to eat after 8-ish.
Meals: I started following the diabetes plate method. Back when I used to lift weights, I did strict portion control and meal prep and all that shit but that doesn’t work when you’re a sad bitch. Again, keep it simple.
I keep easy-to-make staples around all the time. Frozen turkey burgers, microwaveable potatoes, and a shitload of frozen broccoli, cauliflower, green beans. I cook most of it in an air fryer. Arrange it on a 9” plate like this.
Let me stop here to tell you two very important things. One: you’re gonna fuck up. No big deal. Make sure you have Emergency Treats. This is critical.
I always keep a bag of Milano cookies or those little chocolate donuts in the house at all times. Once in a while, your brain is determined to sabotage your shit and when you don’t have Emergency Treats, you risk driving yourself to the store and binging on something terrible.
More about Emergency Treats:
The goal is to have just 1 or 2, not the entire bag. If you’re mostly on point with your other meals, you won’t get the urge to fuck up much. But it will happen. Be ready for it so that you can control it.
Also, don’t keep the Emergency Treats in an easily visible or accessible place. Put them on a high shelf or something. I keep mine in the crisper drawer in my fridge. 1.) I never look there 2.) a cold donut really makes you stop and think about what you’re doing
And before you say: hey Tex if you’re diabetic, should you really be eating donuts? Let me say to you:
- the Emergency Treats tip was given to me by a diabetic power lifter/personal trainer
- that bag of little donuts lasts me for months, because 1.) I keep them cold which feels weird as shit when you eat one and 2.) I’m usually not thinking about them
- I got something you can eat right here
The second really important thing: when you eventually fuck up, don’t get too hung up on it. Pick up where you left off tomorrow. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean the whole thing is pointless. This advice is good for dieting in general: don’t think of it as a short term solution, think of it as long term damage control.
This is not so much for the diabetics out there but: a weekly scheduled cheat meal is a good thing and it’ll keep you sane.
I’m wrapping this up soon, I promise.
Night time: go the fuck to bed. I shoot for 9pm during the week. I almost always miss. But getting to bed by 10pm is better than 1AM.
Before bed, I’ve been taking one magnesium citrate pill, and one magnesium glycinate pill. Again this is some wellness bullshit but: one is supposed to help with anxiety, the other helps keep your poop moving
Fuck the hustle culture bullshit you heard, aim for 8-9 hours a night. Sleep is important
If you’ve got the energy, shower every day. Or every other day. You’ll feel better.
No caffeine after 2pm.
Exercise if you can, even if it’s just to take a little walk around the block.
This one is critical: DON’T TRY TO DO ALL THIS SHIT AT ONCE. You will fuck it up. Baby steps. Introduce one new thing into your life, and don’t introduce the next thing until you’ve built some solid repetition with the previous thing
Am I saying that everyone should do this? No. Everyone’s different. The biggest lie that diet and wellness culture tells us is that if everyone did the exact same thing, we’d all be healthy. This is another thing I learned from the diabetic power lifter: the human body is amazingly complex and varies wildly from person to person. If something works for me, it might not work for you.
That just means you’ve got to try different stuff until you find the thing that works
Lastly, I’m not telling you any of this because I want you to be thin or pretty. I am fat and I look like I got dragged behind a gravel truck. And that’s ok.
Obsessing over your looks is fucking stupid. No matter what you look like, I promise that someone out there wants to fuck you. Unless you have a shitty personality; I can’t help you there
I’m telling you this because I went from being the most miserable I’ve ever been in my life-
(and that’s ok. I deserved to wallow for a while. My best friend died. Sometimes you gotta just be a sad bastard)
-to feeling better than I have in several weeks with some small, incremental changes. So if you’re currently going through it, then hopefully some of these tips can help you.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for not muting me. Good night
Tex
Glenn Fitzpatrick