tbits101
Abandoned AmericaThe older I get, the more aware I am that being critical rather than enjoying things is not a sign of intelligence or wisdom. Not loving things - movies, art, music, people, situations - because of their weaknesses doesn't make you better than them, it means you're unable to see past imperfections. Sure, some things absolutely are bad & should be left behind - but being hypercritical denies you joy. I need reminded of this every day. Too many things are legit bad to throw out good ones too.
If you find your response to popular movies, albums, books, etc is "I don't like them because (x, y, and z)" maybe it's not because you're not smarter than everyone else, maybe you're just outsmarting your own ability to enjoy things that aren't perfect
Before replies get too far: criticism has its place. Not liking things is fine. Not everything is meant for everyone, do what works for you. But! If your sole purpose of spending time with most things is to pry apart what makes them bad, you could definitely be doing better things with your life, like finding and spending time with the things you do love.
Oh my good God this went a lot further than I expected it to! A few clarifications about my rambly thinking aloud toots in general: I don't pretend to know answers for anything. I just write things like this sometimes because I'm working my way through my own thoughts late at night (in this case, about liking an otherwise charming movie despite there being a plot hole). I'm mostly talking to myself, not expecting you to change or "correcting" anyone. Feel free to ignore if unhelpful!
JulieB@AbandonedAmerica I found the conversation intriguing and it really helped me ramble and sort for myself. I sensed no 'correction' but a really good 'what if?'. Really hoping no one took you to task.
@JulieB a few people decided to take umbrage where none was given but that's the internet for you
@AbandonedAmerica After I said that I hoped no one took you to task I did see 'that one guy' who was rude. He's definitely lost track of his compassion and curiosity and went straight to battle stations. Sheesh! And with that, clearly missed the whole point. 😉
Clara@AbandonedAmerica you mean people of Mastodon don't master the dialectic method of discussion any better than people of Facebook? Surprise! 😉
@Clara heh it's unavoidable, no matter what you say someone will contort it into something to take offense at
@AbandonedAmerica this kind of situations make me always think about that quoite by Mr Fry. One thing is being rude and injuring, which is definitely not OK, than another thing is what I hear and how I hear it and what does it make to me is my own resposibiity and I should be able to deal with it. If we censor any contradiction, what the thell will we talk about and how will it make us grow?
sigmadog@AbandonedAmerica Thanks for the clarification. I thought you were getting a bit "preachy", but knowing you're simply working out your personal thoughts changes my attitude about it. Please continue, and Merry Christmas.
@sigmadog Merry Christmas to you also!
Mark Hughes@AbandonedAmerica I recently watched a movie that I would normally dismiss: Legally Blond.
I loved it. I'd normally stick to action, intrigue, drama etc, oh and anything with Sandra Bullock in it but not teen slush (if that's what I thought LB might be).
I broke that idiotic filter! I've since watched Pitch Perfect even though I hate musicals you know, and loved it, and the list goes on.
I've missed so much fun but now I can binge on it 😀 . #movies
Rich Stein (he/him)@AbandonedAmerica Great perspective. Look to enjoy/appreciate before all else. Affects those around you, too.
@RichStein yes it does! 😊
Richard D. Dadier@AbandonedAmerica But what if I love criticizing things?
(that's just for the - admittedly poor - joke; I agree with the bulk of what you're saying)
fallingbeam@AbandonedAmerica "If you hear the rustle of tool coming up behind you? Run." https://youtu.be/Urw-UDz1X_c?t=129
rory & paris (87)
@AbandonedAmerica There are definitely people - I'm friends with some of them - who go through life sucking lemons :P .The world is always coming to an end, who see existential threats everywhere. And that applies to the things they watch/consume. "That was terrible, it's the worst thing ever," etc. A lot of things aren't great, but are they the worst? That can't be true of everything :P .
But I think some of what you're talking about is also a social media-amplified phenomenon. Outrage tends to be the surest way to ensure engagement from an audience. That incentivizes postings that are negative, because it can help you "go viral," because people react, if only to flame you :) . But for some, the negative attention is the point :D .
I want to be careful about Mastodon and lack of an algorithm being a cure-all for this. It probably isn't. The outrage machine is in our heads. Lack of algorithm can help decelerate things. But it does not turn off that part of human nature - only we can, by being conscious of it and understanding why we feel the way we feel.
I used to work for someone who would say "there's no need to tell people they have an ugly baby" :D . So I think while there are times where I am guilty of reflexive snarkiness, I do also do my best, if there is something I'm not wild about, is to instinctively point people to things that are better.
Which brings me to the thing I like that I can't find a clip of on YouTube - in Whit Stillman's "The Cosmopolitans." There's a moment when a character presumably channels the film director who is the subject of critics. "You always imagine journalists being ugly, because of the anger. But she's really attractive."
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3505662/
That said, most people engage with film/TV etc. because they do find joy in it. And watch a lot of it. People who do that tend to be clear on what they privilege/enjoy, vs what they don't. That's not the worst thing ever. But it is also about how you communicate that to others - whether you want to point out flaws, or celebrate the stuff that's awesome. See social media issues/incentive structure above :) .
@AbandonedAmerica I'm also reminded of a really good book written about the movie "Seven." That clarifies how the film chooses to view large outrageous acts of senseless/gratuitous cruelty and violence. And how the film contrasts that with the relatively smaller failings people have on a daily basis.
https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Film-Classics-Richard-Dyer/dp/0851707238
@fallingbeam oh, thanks! I'm way behind on books now but this does sound really interesting
@AbandonedAmerica If you're way behind, then there's no reason not to pile on, right? :D Because when I think of books about films, I'd be remiss not to mention this one.
Probably a foundational text about understanding film. That took the - at the time - controversial stance that film should be understood as its own medium.
That film was not a book, not a play, not a text, but should be understood as its own thing. That films should be understood *as films* rather than as something else :) .
https://www.amazon.com/Film-As-Understanding-Judging-Movies/dp/0306805413/
@fallingbeam my undergrad was in film, I feel like I read most of the film theory books I will get to in my life then, but who knows ❤️
Fardels Bear@AbandonedAmerica I think there are things which it's important to criticise, such as bad government, misinformation, evil actions. Apart from that, I agree with you. The everyday things that make up our cultural landscape are perhaps horses of a different colour. There are things I wouldn't touch with a barge pole but to spend a lot of time criticising them is a waste of time. That said, I really enjoy scathing reviews about bad books and films. And a proper rant can be a thing of beauty.
@riggbeck oh God, I do love a review of something that really gets someone riled up too. And certainly social issues are an entirely different category. But getting worked up over a movie or video game not being 100% perfect? Waste of energy
@AbandonedAmerica With this toot you are bumping into something I learned too late in life: being critical is different than critical thinking. The first is verbalizing everything that you don't like as a way of life. The second is making an assessment as to something's fitness. I was not taught the distinction. I was taught kindness always, check your brain at the door, smile, nod and be agreeable. It did not serve me well. Don't be a constant critic, AND do NOT give up your critical thinking.
Didactylos@AbandonedAmerica @JulieB yep, I simply avoid stuff that I critically find not worth my time and find stuff that is worthy of me spending my most precious time on. These days I watch around 1 hour of TV per week and have not watched a movie in years.
@Didactylos @AbandonedAmerica Exactly! Well said. 🙂
@JulieB this is a great observation. That's exactly what I was getting at, you just said it much better 😊
@AbandonedAmerica You started it! And that's a compliment! 😆
@AbandonedAmerica One more thing, if I may? This might be my favorite kind of conversation, this jaunt we've all had through how to be good critics and not bad ones: one person ponders, another questions, and then the first refines, then the second tells their version and answers a question or two and we learn from each other and more about ourselves. My sister and I do this fluently and I love it.
I've just never seen social media do it quite so successfully.
Well done. 🙂
@JulieB thank you ❤️
Sad Tomato@JulieB @AbandonedAmerica i love this advice. Thank you for challenging my thinking.
@Sadtomato @JulieB no problem, tomato friend. I was kind of poking at my own thinking too when I wrote it 😊
ira@AbandonedAmerica agreed! onwards!
Emily in the Library@AbandonedAmerica keep doing just what you are doing! It’s beautiful.
@littledorritt thank you very much!
Mx. Bluets@AbandonedAmerica Agree. There's a place for constructive criticism made with an appreciation for its object, but the hypercritical reflexive negativity that seems common now seems more a lazy form of faux sophistication? Or people displacing their negative feelings onto safe seeming things? It's harmful when it's abusive toward creators.
I have depression; flaw finding is too easy. But I like liking things & seeking the good in imperfection even if I seem silly or unsophisticated for doing so.
@MixBluets yes, this is a great take on what I was trying to say. It's really harmful when aimed at art for no reason other than it doesn't do it for you
Isham@AbandonedAmerica first find the good, acknowledge the good. Then make your decision.
ocdtrekkie@AbandonedAmerica CinemaSins folks are gonna be crushed by this one, LOL. Though I think people can both have a critical eye and enjoy the totality of the medium.
@ocdtrekkie oh, I love watching videos about plot holes, villains who were really the good guy, that sort of thing. But I also have to remind myself not to let them ruin otherwise good movies
PJ Flyers 🌻🖖🐈@AbandonedAmerica
oh dear lord.... I love that you have chronicled so much of lost America. And I agree if someone doesn't like something - just don't like it and move on. Social Media has given license to basement dwellers to tell other people that they disagree with them anonymously. Your post is precious and I feel the pain you must feel in order to make the post.
oh dear lord.... I love that you have chronicled so much of lost America. And I agree if someone doesn't like something - just don't like it and move on. Social Media has given license to basement dwellers to tell other people that they disagree with them anonymously. Your post is precious and I feel the pain you must feel in order to make the post.
@PJFlyers thank you for the compassion! I actually wrote it mostly to remind myself not to be over critical and hoped maybe other people would find some use in it
@AbandonedAmerica
Keep on keeping on. I look forward to and hold dear your posts
Keep on keeping on. I look forward to and hold dear your posts
@PJFlyers thank you!
Me, here@AbandonedAmerica I try to approach most things (food, shows, music, books, movies etc. ) with a baseline of “it’s fine,” meaning it’s ok/enjoyable, even if it’s not life-changing. There’s no sense in being hyper-critical of most things, especially if someone put time and effort into it. Appreciate things for what they are, and usually they’re fine.
@markggarcia yes, I agree. Particularly when you can tell people put work into something trashing it just to trash it is lousy
ClipperChip 
@AbandonedAmerica So, I must like every movie I ever watched or what?
@clipperchip it's a little pointless spending time debating people who twist your words into things you weren't saying so I generally tend not to
Robert Honeybourne@AbandonedAmerica the description of ‘I don’t like this’ is the words explaining a feeling. One is expected to invent rational reasons to like or dislike
The feeling maybe is this has nothing to offer. I have watched certain films dozens of times as they continue to draw me. Many newer films I find I don’t like the characters soon after the start and don’t care what happens to them
It is sometimes that there is nothing striking a chord, sometimes the framing of the story
The feeling maybe is this has nothing to offer. I have watched certain films dozens of times as they continue to draw me. Many newer films I find I don’t like the characters soon after the start and don’t care what happens to them
It is sometimes that there is nothing striking a chord, sometimes the framing of the story
@Gingerfox you can dislike whatever you want, my point is that disliking things is not indicative of inherent superiority to them
@AbandonedAmerica it’s an interesting topic. I would think that if one does feel superior because of ‘not liking’ something it’s an indication of a psychological problem to be resolved. Basing one’s idea of self on a car maker or TV show or politician by excessive liking or disliking is problematic
I’m better because of the car I drive is a classic type. Or I dislike him as he flies in first class. Using judgement to create self image. It can also be tribal
I’m better because of the car I drive is a classic type. Or I dislike him as he flies in first class. Using judgement to create self image. It can also be tribal
Jazztronaut@AbandonedAmerica 100% agree. Good criticism is gold.
When I was young and naive, I used to be dazzled by people that were always critical, thinking that maybe that they had extra insight, or were more were discerning, creative or intelligent.
I know better now after wasting a few years with someone like that. My life is so much more colorful and musical without that grief. Life is too short to waste on pseudo-intellectual killjoys.
When I was young and naive, I used to be dazzled by people that were always critical, thinking that maybe that they had extra insight, or were more were discerning, creative or intelligent.
I know better now after wasting a few years with someone like that. My life is so much more colorful and musical without that grief. Life is too short to waste on pseudo-intellectual killjoys.
@jazztronaut yesssss thank you. You get what I was trying to say. A lot of people seem to feel personally attacked by it or not see what I meant but this is it.
Bender Wilson@AbandonedAmerica nope nope nope 👎 listen!! in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Chip, the broken tea cup is not cute, he is not useful.. he is garbage… literal garbage, no one would serve tea in a broken cup.. that’s just common fuxkin sense.. 🤷♂️ i die on this hill.. 10 stars, no notes
@lucifersmith420 I do respect your passion at least! 😄
@AbandonedAmerica Good Lord, I'm thinking about a tattoo of this. That last line, "maybe you're just outsmarting your own ability to enjoy things that aren't perfect."
You can either be bent toward love and kindness and honor . . .
Or not.
You really do get to choose. ❤️
@JulieB it's not easy, that's for sure. Being kind is hard work, that's what my experience is
@AbandonedAmerica For me it always has to start with compassion and curiosity. If I start there, there's a chance. If not, I can easily get myself into a mess! 😉
Zuri@AbandonedAmerica I think it's fine to be critical if you're also working to solve the problem.