'THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS'
Narrated by, Reggie Bannister
(Please, read all comments for full story)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my trouse;
The shotguns were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the tall dude wouldn't be near.
Mike was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of Jody danced in his head;
And "what's-her-name" in her kercheif, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long aftersex nap---
When out near the Cuda
there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed
to see WTF was the matter.
The moon on the breast
of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of midday
to objects below;
When, what to my
wondering eyes shows,
But a mortician's hearse,
and eight tiny dwarves in robes.
Away to the window
I flew with agility,
Tore open the shutters
and threw up the artillery.
With a slim old driver,
so eerie and crude,
I knew in a moment
It must be the tall dude.
More rapid than eagles
his coursers they came,
And he pointed, and shouted,
and called them by name:
"Now, Caretaker! Now, Gravedigger!
Now, Demeter and Edna!
On, Rufus! On, Henry!
On Alchemy and Tanesha!"
"To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now get them! Get them!
Get them all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When those little bastards meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the housetop
the coursers they flew,
With the hearse full of gas,
and the tall dude, too.
And then, in a twinkling,
I heard on the quick.
The prancing and pawing
of each little prick.
As I drew up my shotgun
and was turned with fright,
Down the chimney the tall dude came in sight.
He was dressed all formal
from his neck to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished
with ashes and soot.
A bundle of balls he
had flung from his command,
And he looked like a nightmare
I couldn't understand.
His eyes, how they squint
His skin, how dairy!
His cheeks were sunk in,
This dude is fucking scary!
His narrow little mouth
was then smirked to grow,
And the hair on his head
was as white as snow.
A shot from a 4 barrel
I held towards his teeth,
As the smoke clears, it's impact encircled
his head like a wreath.
But another tall dude came
with little round spheres.
That hovered all around him,
I shouldn't have drank so many beers.
He was slender and eerie,
a darn right freak,
And I trembled when I saw him,
I almost took a leak;
A raise of his brow
and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know
I had plenty to dread.
He spoke not a word,
but went straight to his work.
As I filled him with more lead,
then he turns with a jerk,
And pointed his finger across the room,
And giving the notion, of sealing my doom.
He sprang to his hearse,
to his team gave a stare,
And away they all flew
like a case of beer.
But I heard him exclaim,
ere he drove out of sight ---
"Have a Phantasmic Christmas for now, and we'll be back for the boy another night."
(Written by #Jayskull, wishing everyone a #MerryChristmas! )
#TheNightBeforeChristmas #ChristmasEve #DonCoscarelli #Phantasm #SciFi #Horror #Christmas #ChristmasStory
Castle Jayskull 
Alex