Janice SelbieIn my private practice, I work with clients recovering from #ReligiousTrauma and #ReligiousTraumaSyndrome. Regardless of flavor ( #exchristian, #exmuslim, #exjew, #exhindu, #exmormon ), the big recovery issues focus on #grief & #loss of identity, community, & worldview. Additionally, there are often significant gaps in knowledge & experience with sex, science, & secular/pop culture. It takes tremendous courage to examine foundational beliefs. If you're making the journey: WAY TO GROW!
Christian Graus@JaniceSelbie I left the church five years ago I think. It took me two years to admit to myself i was a backslider. Without church, my wife left me.
@ChristianGraus I am so sorry for your significant losses. I hope you are getting help from a secular therapist. My website is www.divorcing-religion.com, and my YouTube channel may also be helpful for you https://youtube.com/@ComeToCORT
Conference On Religious Trauma
Welcome to the Conference on Religious Trauma (CORT). CORT is an annual conference held online to raise awareness about Religious Trauma Syndrome. CORT goals include: - Educating about religious trauma syndrome (RTS) - Providing resources to aid in recovery from religious trauma - Connecting survivors of RTS with qualified therapists, coaches, and consultants. CORT speakers represent a variety of fundamentalist religious backgrounds, including Amish, Evangelical, Mormon, Muslim, and Hasidic Orthodox Judaism. They will be covering a vast array of topics from cultural genocide to coercive control, fear of Hell to post-religious sexuality, and religious schooling to racism. In addition to presentations by psychologists, social workers, authors, and former clergy, survivors of religious fundamentalism are eager to share their own personal stories of trauma, recovery, and hope with you.
@JaniceSelbie thanks, I'll Check it out. I happened to start therapy just before she started leaving me, which was good timing
Dream A Little 
@JaniceSelbie I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a religious identity. I am not religious but I understand having to give up my belief system and trust someone else to guide me while I built myself back up. Your work is very important.
@Cynthia Thank you. Some days it feels like rather a lot, but I am passionate about helping others in recovery from #ReligiousTrauma .
enmodo ⚛️ 🧬 🇺🇦 🍉@JaniceSelbie you're doing good work. I hear that kind of thing from people who come to atheist meetings and come out of orgs like the Mormons. Most had to endure losing their entire family and social circle. I worry in their time of need they become vulnerable to other exploitation.
It always makes me think what if the org that inflicted this trauma was a cult like NXVM? Their leaders end up in jail but often only because of sexual, physical, or financial abuse. Other kinds get a free pass.
@enmodo You are correct - and this is such a good point. Sadly, until we recognize the impact of being raised in authoritarian-type families, we can continue being drawn into similar group dynamics over & over again. This is why I encourage my clients to become familiar with the BITE model posed by Dr. Steve Hassan: https://freedomofmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/BITE-Model-Handout-9-23-16.pdf
@JaniceSelbie I'm listening to one of the podcast episodes on Freedom Of Mind and they actually brought up NXVM, branding, and criminal charges... but criticize religious practices and a world of hurt can be unloaded on you.
@JaniceSelbie BTW Steve Hassan is on Mastodon too: https://mastodon.social/@cultexpert@toad.social
Squinn@JaniceSelbie I facilitated a religious trauma support group for about 5 years. The #1 thing almost everyone struggled with was the loss of community. Do you have any ideas about how to handle that?
@squinn Yes, but many find it unpalatable when compared with the “one stop shop“ that was their religious experience. The only way to grow our communities is to actually reach out & participate. Our life now is more akin to a patchwork quilt, where we develop multiple communities rather than one central community. For example, I now have an atheist community; a birdwatching community; a writing community; etc. It takes time & effort, and care is required to avoid fundamentalist thinking.
@JaniceSelbie I like the quilt metaphor! I tend to think of my "home" as a spider web... just a lot of connections between people/communities, who may or may not be connected directly to each other.
ice.cream.assassin@squinn @JaniceSelbie Yeah I think a lot of people get it in their head that "community" means "some cohesive group I have joined", which causes people to think that they can't construct their own community.
I think some groups do that intentionally in order to assure an insular mindset among themselves, and that includes some religious groups. Hardcore evangelical Christians come to mind.
Mad Alex@squinn @JaniceSelbie Never having been religious nor baptized, I was never in one of those one stop shops. So the quilt/web is my normal and I don't feel like I'm missing out.