jessica by the bayDec 19, 2022

This is your year non-trans folks. This is the year

to be the one to call out grandma for misgendering your non-binary cousin,

to point out how fucked up your uncle’s transphobic jokes are, or

to tell your mom that her excuses for deadnaming someone aren’t good enough.

It’s time to make this your problem. How are you going to stand up for trans people this holiday?

Show threadOld Lady Whispering HushDec 19, 2022
@rooster I'm not sure I'm ready to take on everything this Christmas. But I can commit to correcting anyone who deadnames or misgenders my wife's cousin. Don't be a coward just because he isn't there to be hurt. Thanks for the push :)
Show threadjessica by the bay
@Octaviaminor yes please if you can. Focus on preventing harm to the trans people closest to you. Take the burden off of them, and show your family there are consequences to not respecting someone you love.
Dec 19, 2022 at 4:26pmWeb
Show threadBoabieTheBarmanDec 19, 2022
@rooster @Octaviaminor “call out” is a stupid phrase to use. People can be educated without being insulted. It’s totally hypocritical to demand respect while showing none
Show threadJunebugDec 19, 2022
@BoabieTheBarman @rooster @Octaviaminor thank you! Respect goes both ways and lots of acceptance does also. Acceptance for the trans community and acceptance for the struggle, but nonetheless good intention, of their family members to change and adapt to new norms of behaviour. It takes time, patience and compassion on all sides.
Show threadOld Lady Whispering HushDec 19, 2022
@Junebug @BoabieTheBarman @rooster I think we're talking about two different things here. Kind corrections are appropriate for family members who are trying their best and slip up (burden is on cis people here to correct on behalf of loved ones). Calling out is justified for deliberate and hateful misgendering/deadnaming.
Show threadBoabieTheBarmanDec 19, 2022
@Octaviaminor @Junebug @rooster yes but you just stereotyped someone’s grandparents in making your point, which is equally unfair
Show threadsaul b   🎡Dec 20, 2022
@BoabieTheBarman @Octaviaminor @Junebug @rooster “stereotyped someone’s grandma” Jesus Christ these ppl are being so patient with you and you’re literally looking to take everything the worst way possible. “Stereotypes someone’s grandma” omg I’m so sorry they should have used cousin or uncle as an example instead. 🙄
Show threadUnprecedented 2023Dec 19, 2022
@Junebug @BoabieTheBarman @rooster @Octaviaminor I could not have said it better.
Show threadUnprecedented 2023Dec 19, 2022
@BoabieTheBarman @rooster @Octaviaminor Hmm. I am not well versed yet.
Show threadDanielle ForéDec 19, 2022
@BoabieTheBarman @rooster @Octaviaminor OR we could not tone police people who are defending marginalized groups. Bigotry deserves absolutely 0 respect. If the only way you could not be a bigot is when people are super nice to you, that’s a you problem.
Show threadEssjay 🏳️‍🌈  Dec 19, 2022

@BoabieTheBarman @rooster @Octaviaminor

Thank heavens the tone police bloke has arrived to mansplain to trans folk and their allies how they should react to transphobia. 🙄
Kindly and respectfully, do fuck off

Show threadSean Lake: famous ballet Dec 20, 2022

@BoabieTheBarman @rooster @Octaviaminor That’s just conflict, not hypocrisy. If you’re not willing to entertain conflict to support trans rights, I’m happy to walk away from a losing battle, but it would be hard not to notice that you were willing to take a stand when it happened to be against supporting trans rights.

Hypocrisy would be demanding that Grandpa James refer to you by your correct name and pronouns while insisting that you still get to call him Barbara and refer to him as if he were a woman. He might be quite upset by that, and understandably so. If he raised his voice in frustration after you had repeatedly disrespected him by addressing him wrong, would you think it was reasonable to tell him raising his voice had lost him the right to be respected by you?

Can you see how that would sound like you’d already decided you would not respect him, and accusing him of disrespect was a flimsy justification for your hypocrisy?

I sincerely do hope you get what I’m saying here.

Show threadLittletron 🏳️‍⚧️Dec 21, 2022
@BoabieTheBarman @rooster @Octaviaminor what exactly makes you think "calling out" is an insult?
Show threadUnprecedented 2023Dec 19, 2022
@rooster @Octaviaminor Agree.