luhem7
The OatmealHow to be a dog in two easy steps
RΥMDΚRΛFT@oatmeal bad doggo, pls never do it again (does it again the next day)
Ruffers
Anže@oatmeal I have a dog and can confirm this is 100% accurate
The Baking B!^(#@oatmeal 100% my greyhound Gus. In his early years, Hubs and I resigned ourselves to coming home and finding him gone because he chewed through a cord or, I don’t know, ate glass or something. But he’s 9 and still alive, much to our amazement.
Jernej Simončič �@oatmeal My sister's dog chewed a LiPo while she was away. There are still scorch marks in her couch and parquet (dog was fine).
Nick@oatmeal I feel like the cat version is the same. Less "eating batteries" and more "jumping places I can't get down from."
Kyle K 
@oatmeal or finding ways to hurt/maim your owner... like going from a sitting position to 60mph in 0.5s almost ripping your owners shoulder out of the socket and/or pulling them face first into the ground and dragging them!
GoodTrouble 🌊🗳️🗽🇺🇸🔬💉😷📚🇺🇦🏳️🌈🟰@Goodtrouble @oatmeal dear god that sounds painful! I have also had cats for years and know the pain of a full paw of claws engaged... luckily never in my ear! 😬
kirkiscool@oatmeal My basset hound smelled a See's Candies box through the UPS box it was delivered in, got it off the counter, ripped through layers of packaging and carefully removed every single piece from it's paper cup and ate every one. Then shit on the rug next to his mess of paper and cardboard. he's fine BTW.
JL Johnson 
Jillian J 
LAUREN@oatmeal
I remember the day I learned how to resuscitate my dog. 😂
I remember the day I learned how to resuscitate my dog. 😂
Indistinct Chatter 🥄@oatmeal
"By the way, I ate an entire pan of cocoa sheet cake."
"By the way, I ate an entire pan of cocoa sheet cake."
Nyke "Nate Trent" Young 🌹🪨@oatmeal This is Quin.
Wikked Storm (DJ Drewcifer)@oatmeal for cats, step 2 is finding creative ways to kill the human.
Kristine SmithGiven that I spend part of every day digging sticks and rocks out of my elderly dog's mouth, yup.
WedgeThis is what drives me INSANE about mastodon. Look at the likes vs boost ratio. People really said to themselves, I'll be damned before I let the author know this brought me a smile. But sure, I will show it to my friends.