Erin ReedDec 17, 2022

Trans allies: avoiding pronouns will NEVER make it easier to learn a trans person's new name/pronouns.

There's a way to fix that. OVERUSE of pronouns/names instead. It may sound ridiculous but it works.

Here's how it works.
Don't forget to subscribe.

https://erininthemorn.substack.com/p/stop-doing-the-pronoun-dance-how

Stop Doing The Pronoun Dance: How To Remember Your Trans Friends Names/Pronouns

Many allies think that by avoiding pronouns and names, they are going to prevent themselves from "slipping up." This actually hurts your ability to memorize new names and pronouns. Try this instead.

Erin In The Morning
Show threadErin ReedDec 17, 2022

Believe it or not, a lot of trans people struggle with misgendering and deadnaming others, and even ourselves, often.

And wanna know something cool?

This trick works for us as well!

Show threadErin ReedDec 17, 2022

Here's a great example, if you were for instance my mom struggling to learn my pronouns when I was early in transition:

"ERIN was driving to the store to pick up stuff off of ERIN's list so that when SHE came home SHE would be prepared for the week, right ERIN?"

Show threadErin ReedDec 17, 2022

It's gonna sound dumb and silly at first but god it works. I have yet to meet any cis ally that does this that can't remember someone's pronouns.

"It's hard" isn't an excuse anymore. There are ways to remember.

Show threadShady Jade

@ErinInTheMorn Honestly, even a couple of years in, I brought this trick to bear on the last bastion of self-deadnaming, the *self-curse*.

When you do something bad, and say "Dammit, ____", deadname flows so freely, and you just have to do it more, properly, and it works!

💪

Dec 17, 2022 at 11:20pmWeb
Show threadSerenaDec 19, 2022
@lampjaded @ErinInTheMorn This is so true! I do that all the time, and then I feel guilty/spiral into imposter syndrome. I should try practicing like this, too.
Show threadShady JadeDec 19, 2022

@Serena @ErinInTheMorn My best ally at work deadnamed me two months ago with the set phrase, "Dammit, ____".

He was *mortified*.

I told him he just needed some practice.

And I made SURE he got a LOT of "Dammit, Jade" practice in! 😅😅😅

Definitely practice your self-talk and you WILL get over it, and that will help ameliorate the *##^$& impostor syndrome ❤