Erin ReedDec 17, 2022

Trans allies: avoiding pronouns will NEVER make it easier to learn a trans person's new name/pronouns.

There's a way to fix that. OVERUSE of pronouns/names instead. It may sound ridiculous but it works.

Here's how it works.
Don't forget to subscribe.

https://erininthemorn.substack.com/p/stop-doing-the-pronoun-dance-how

Stop Doing The Pronoun Dance: How To Remember Your Trans Friends Names/Pronouns

Many allies think that by avoiding pronouns and names, they are going to prevent themselves from "slipping up." This actually hurts your ability to memorize new names and pronouns. Try this instead.

Erin In The Morning
Show threadErin ReedDec 17, 2022

Believe it or not, a lot of trans people struggle with misgendering and deadnaming others, and even ourselves, often.

And wanna know something cool?

This trick works for us as well!

Show threadErin ReedDec 17, 2022

Here's a great example, if you were for instance my mom struggling to learn my pronouns when I was early in transition:

"ERIN was driving to the store to pick up stuff off of ERIN's list so that when SHE came home SHE would be prepared for the week, right ERIN?"

Show threadErin ReedDec 17, 2022

It's gonna sound dumb and silly at first but god it works. I have yet to meet any cis ally that does this that can't remember someone's pronouns.

"It's hard" isn't an excuse anymore. There are ways to remember.

Show threadMy Emu Is Emo

@ErinInTheMorn This is literally what I did when one of my musician acquaintances back east came out as trans. I was used to seeing content released with her former identity, so every time I saw a new IG from her, I’d practice. “SHE is such a brilliant lyricist. SHE has such fascinating side projects. Isn’t SHE amazing?”

Worked perfectly.

Dec 17, 2022 at 4:40pmWeb
Show threadViolinknitterDec 17, 2022
@myemuisemo @ErinInTheMorn Yes, I’ve done this too! As I’m going about my day (in the car, doing the dishes), I’ll talk out loud to myself about the friend who is transitioning and practice their name and pronouns. I still slip up occasionally, but it makes it a lot easier! Just building those new neural pathways and using them frequently so they become the brain’s default.